tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.comments2013-01-22T23:48:20.408-08:00Help-4-MomAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-33336166737479326382013-01-22T18:39:22.854-08:002013-01-22T18:39:22.854-08:00I'm not sure if you will ever even get a chanc...I'm not sure if you will ever even get a chance to see this, but here goes nothing...<br />I am a CNA at a nursing home. Unfortunately this happens quite frequent at many facilities. We are currently searching for a solution. So far when new admits come in, we have put all the personal clothing in a mesh bag to be marked, marked clothes ourselves, and asked families to mark the clothing. This also does not fix the problem. I feel that this problem will forever exist unless both family members and caregivers is more assertive with marking the clothing. I know this is not what you want to hear, but it is the biggest problem in nursing facilities all over.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-50718675341425795202012-01-02T14:30:45.613-08:002012-01-02T14:30:45.613-08:00Follow up: Mom DID have 2 polyps removed but neit...Follow up: Mom DID have 2 polyps removed but neither could be considered "ulcerated" or bloody. Her prep went well, she had an IV bag of saline. The hardest part was keeping her warm while she sat on the commode. The nurses - one which happened to be a wonderful and kind cousin of ours - brought pre-heated blankets that made all the difference. Since the colonoscopy, her iron levels went up and it's not longer a problem. Perhaps the polyps were the problem but we can't be sure. Her iron levels slowly went up over 2 months after the colonoscopy. Her doctor also prescribed a multi-vitamin with some iron but not a "mega dose". Regarding the colonscopy - her doctor does not want to do it again. In 5 years, she'll be 94 and it's just too hard on her body. She'll likely die of old age before dieing of colon cancer. If she were diagnosed with colon cancer the treatment would kill her faster and in a much more agonizing manner than just letting her life out her life in comfort.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-29340216703502118092011-10-02T21:10:14.365-07:002011-10-02T21:10:14.365-07:00Since I wrote this post, my husband had a small sp...Since I wrote this post, my husband had a small spot removed from his nose and two other friends had surgery after recurring sores turned out to be cancerous. My husband went to a doctor after I nagged him about a recurring pimple on his nostril - just like my nephew. The friends with recurring sores both went to dermotologists and were treated - in one case for 5 years - for psoriasis and eczema. One friend, a 60 year old, had one spot on each cheek. Now she has two scars, one is about 4 inches and runs from under her jaw line up to the outer corner of her eye. The other is about 3 inches and is partially under her jaw line up onto her cheek an inch or two. She was diligent, she sought a doctors care and trusted him. She finally went to a new dermotologist who immediately did biopsies and even found a "normal" looking spot on the bridge of her nose that is cancerous. It's disgusting that some doctors cannot be thorough. If they would just do a simple biopsy. ....Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-34084321196828117212011-04-22T17:01:53.966-07:002011-04-22T17:01:53.966-07:00My Dad was in a nursing home and very close to th...My Dad was in a nursing home and very close to the end when he decided to make a will. The lawyer who put the will together and who had been his drinking buddy and good friend, was not an estate lawyer. To shorten this up - as the Executor I spent a lot of time working through this. <br /><br />While it's very important to write things down. It's also important to make sure the legal ducks are in a row.Debbie Martinnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-29331621331731577452011-03-20T11:47:58.541-07:002011-03-20T11:47:58.541-07:00For my Mom, here's what I did for her feet:
1s...For my Mom, here's what I did for her feet:<br />1st - get comfy shoes. let vanity go and go for good fit and safety so they won't fall. Mom's last pair of shoes cost $100, they are all leather, have velcro closures with elastic to accommodate one swollen foot and one regular, thinner foot. <br />2nd - work slowly on the tough spots, this takes time to slowly get rid of callouses, you can't remove too much at a time or it causes pain. My goal is to soften without causing cuts or scrapes that might bleed or become infected. Mom had thick callouses so after soaking her feet, I gently used a file or pumice stone to remove the top layer of the callous. <br />3rd - lotion, shea butter and cocoa butter lotions seemed to work bestAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-58044395405404047352011-03-20T11:35:52.300-07:002011-03-20T11:35:52.300-07:00Old feet are also delicate because of old skin - i...Old feet are also delicate because of old skin - it's thinner, blood flow may restricted by all sorts of conditions; old skin doesn't heal as quickly. Years of walking can flatten arches causing pain. Years of wearing shoes, especially if they don't fit well, mean thick callouses, bunions and even deformed toes or joints. <br /><br />If you're caring for an old person at home, the wisest thing might be to take them to a foot doctor to see what problems they detect and ask for their advice on how to care for the elders feet. Be prepared to pay for this consultation since medicare no longer pays podiatrists (foot doctors) to cut toe nails. Ask the foot doc if they know a good pedicurist who specializes in old feet. Since I first wrote this entry, I've met two ladies who do nothing but drive around their community of 40,000 and cut toe nails for the elderly. They see each client on an average of once every 2-3 months - more or less depending on the client.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-74178418127669134732010-11-05T23:05:10.247-07:002010-11-05T23:05:10.247-07:00Lynn, MiaMadre here, glad to see that you learned ...Lynn, MiaMadre here, glad to see that you learned about the Aid and Attendance program. It really IS a little known program, even if you call the VA office, THEY don't seem to know about it??? How can that be!! I mention it ALL the time on the agingcare.com website, since so many don't seem to know anything about it!Angela Mariajohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00878101662537406583noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-33318648098943887672010-08-18T13:02:04.144-07:002010-08-18T13:02:04.144-07:00COPD is a nasty and evil disease. I hope he'l...COPD is a nasty and evil disease. I hope he'll get on oxygen soon!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-5125316829667758372010-08-05T20:45:52.932-07:002010-08-05T20:45:52.932-07:00Thank you for your advice on who to contact about ...Thank you for your advice on who to contact about antiques in my mothers apt. We live in New York City, so I can easily contact the big auction places.<br /><br />I had the identical problem re. "lost" clothing in the nursing home. They know their laundry system is "not perfect." They did not discuss reimbursement - but I will; how many times can you keep buying clothes?<br /><br />My brother & I did hire an elder care attorney; very expensive - but will be worth it in the end to preserve some of her assets.<br /><br />This is probably the most difficult & complicated thing I have gone through .There are so many things going on at once - I know the best way to look at it is one day at a time - but sometimes even that is too much..Thank goodness for two dependent cats!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-30074153648640373602010-06-30T07:35:01.738-07:002010-06-30T07:35:01.738-07:00Thanks Kathy! I wrote down the wrong web address ...Thanks Kathy! I wrote down the wrong web address so I corrected it and added a link to their site. I hope that you'll find some useful information here. Please DO share any ideas, suggestions or experiences you have with your own parents. Dealing with all the finances, health issues and just trying to help them continue to enjoy something - anything - is a lot of work. Answers and ideas are hard to find, that's why I blog - to make it a little easier on all of us!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-39700286539063602132010-06-30T07:19:27.033-07:002010-06-30T07:19:27.033-07:00Lynn, have just started reading your blog and plan...Lynn, have just started reading your blog and plan to catch up with all your valuable posts, as my parents are 88 and 90, and my mom's health is failing.<br />Just wanted to say I think your link should be to goldviolin.com. The link you posted doesn't work. Thank you for helping the rest of us on our journeys as caregivers.Kathynoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-49827114387902117962010-04-23T19:53:34.723-07:002010-04-23T19:53:34.723-07:00You're doing the right thing for the right rea...You're doing the right thing for the right reason my friend.<br /><br />It's often crazy, mysterious and hard to peel the cards off the proverbial deck of life and work with what you're dealt. Some people run from the table, leaving the cards right there...they think. But, they're always there waiting for them.<br /><br />You're doing it both smart and soulfully...and for the right reasons where both your brother and your mother are concerned. And also, for yourself.<br /><br />Rest easy and sleep well. It may not be an easy journey, but it is the right one. And, it may be a huge learning experience and a twee bit of a bonding experience at the same time.<br /><br />I've got fingers crossed for you. Looking at one's self in the mirror and knowing you did the best you could is a powerful thing. That way there is no regrets. And, don't ever 2d guess yourself. You're doing the best you can with what you've got at the time. That's all we can do.<br /><br />Cindy LouCindy Lounoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-7872134248404161922010-02-08T17:40:26.810-08:002010-02-08T17:40:26.810-08:00Hi Lynn,
My elderly mother has been in a facility...Hi Lynn,<br /><br />My elderly mother has been in a facility for one year; previous to that I was her caregiver at her home for over two years. I can definitely relate to your concerns that the present caregivers just don't know your mother as well as you do and so are less likely to recognize signs that something is amiss.<br /><br />I had to chuckle at the last part of your post. "Lucky for Mom, I'm tenacious...". Keep up the good work!! That's what it takes to be an advocate that's listened to these days!<br /><br />Jan Heinen<br />Publisher, LiftChairReviews.comJan Heinenhttp://liftchairreviews.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-85953070507337160092010-01-06T18:56:22.386-08:002010-01-06T18:56:22.386-08:00Hi Lynn!! I can really relate to all you are going...Hi Lynn!! I can really relate to all you are going through. Even tho I have a younger brother that is close, I am the 1 family member who has - gladly - taken on the responsiblity of being with me mom thru it all.<br /><br />I am a 55 yr old daughter of one of the most remarkable women I have ever known - my 76 yr old mother!! Due to life circumstances, I have no family of my own. My 2 brothers have families (wife & kids) but even tho one just lives down the street - I am pretty much it when it comes to making my beloved mother's well being a major priority in my life.....I, definitely, have feeling about that! However, as mom says.....we will take care of ourselves without their help, damnit!!<br /><br />Currently I am working 30 hrs weekly and living with mom. She has COPD and takes several breathing treatments daily. Right this moment she is very ill and on anti-biotics in an effort to stop her lungs from filling with fluid. She gets this a couple of times a year so it is nothing new.<br /><br />I will be starting a new project at work & getting the much needed 40 hrs weekly. But, I would quit my job in a moment if it becomes needed to care for my mom....and the 2 of us would live - somehow - on her limited monthly SS. I will do what I must to see that she can live the remainer of her life at home where she wants to be....<br /><br />Unfortunately, I believe, I have 2 very selfish brohters who seem to have forgotten the mother who lived her life so selflessly to raise us all. 1 lives very far away and is not speaking to her because she got tired of him calling her when he was drinking...crying about how much he wanted to help provided for her....but never did.<br /><br />The other?? Lives down the damn street and just does not want to deal with what having an aging parent entails. I can get soooo angry about it all. But, being the wonderful woman she is, mom says to hell with them all - we will survive!!<br /><br />I love her dearly and understand exactly what you are dealing with. Take care, God bless you, and know there are others take can offer support.<br /><br />champagne.faith@gmail(DOT)comChampagnehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03300174524251036148noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-44464563194662647172009-09-19T17:45:14.245-07:002009-09-19T17:45:14.245-07:00Hey Lynn:
Glad to see you are with Gramma. "...Hey Lynn:<br /><br />Glad to see you are with Gramma. "Mom is sharp of mind but weak in body". That is very nicely written Lynn. Say hello for me.<br /><br />Scott<br /><br />...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-59731379789428776202009-09-02T12:26:49.398-07:002009-09-02T12:26:49.398-07:00I'm so glad it was helpful - that's EXACTL...I'm so glad it was helpful - that's EXACTLY why I'm doing this blog. My Mom is not to the point that she begs to go home with me but I expect that to happen at some point. Her mother, aunts and grand mother went through the same thing. I saw my Mom be strong about it; she came to expect it and I must do the same. <br /><br />If we know they will go through it, we must say the same things to them over and over - my house is not safe for you; they can give you the help we can't. We'll be at work all day and you can't be alone that long. We can't bathe you safely, you'll get regular meals here.... If you come to expect it, then it's easier to deal with. She'll probably begin to go through the same sequence each time you leave, if possible focus on the the sequence rather than her emotions. It won't help her but it is sort of self defense mechanism for YOU. <br /><br />Some other things that I've begun to do with my Mom: deadhead the flowers in the planters and beds at the ALF - I asked first of course but they were fine with it. You'd be surprised what they'll encourage for individual residents. <br />Good luck and please post more comments if you find things that occupy your mom during your visits. Many others can benefit from your experience too.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-4004085239172061062009-09-01T18:59:48.848-07:002009-09-01T18:59:48.848-07:00This blog was very helpful to me tonight as I am g...This blog was very helpful to me tonight as I am going through a very similar situation with my Mom...To visit or not to visit has been my question. She cries and clings to me and begs to go home. She says she is anxious and actually gags. Begs me to spend the night there, etc. I am at a loss especially since she will not do any games, puzzles, etc.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-92168613477074220562009-04-19T09:06:00.000-07:002009-04-19T09:06:00.000-07:00Hi Lynn,
Sounds like you tried to do all the right...Hi Lynn,<br />Sounds like you tried to do all the right things when you prepared to move your mom. I would just take a guess that part of your mom's pain in back and hips was probably stress which would be normal. It is a huge deal to move elderly from some place they are comfortable with to somewhere they know nothing about. And remember your mom has lived in the same house for many many years. That is hard also. Even if the move is needed. What I learned by visiting with the elderly women I spent time with is this. When they talk about being uncomfortable or scared or depressed don't try to fix it. Listen to them and acknowledge that it must be very hard. They need to talk about it with out somebody telling them why it is important. They know why, but they still feel like they are losing part of who they are. Grieving is a process in this and it is so important they are allowed to grieve.<br /><br />The other thing I wanted to say was that there are sometimes support groups for people who are taking care of their elderly parents. These groups are for both those whose parents live in the adult children's homes or assisted living homes. Check with some agencies in the area to see if they have one. If not look into starting one. It gives people a place to come and talk about what is going on, the feelings around having to move parents, and everything else between diminishing mental capacity and/or physical difficulties. Your not alone and the care givers need support to deal with the guilt that sometime accompanies the process of doing what is right. <br />I will comment more later but hang in there and listen to her and acknowledge her feelings. She is scared and it is normal.Gay Lewisnoreply@blogger.com