tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-68100685169321587792024-03-13T12:07:02.331-07:00Help-4-MomHelp-4-Mom offers advice, insight and a daughter's experiences as I helped my mother remain in her home, moved her into assisted living and, most recently, into a nursing home. I hope others will share their insights through comments.
A note about recommendations and comments: All product recommendations are based on my experience and are not sponsored. I moderate all comments and reject those that are off topic or that I deem as advertising/promotion for a business or service.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.comBlogger168125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-32093326639976320632013-12-09T06:42:00.000-08:002013-12-09T06:42:08.181-08:00What do shingles look like?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk7LZFcMBz50xhBfVziF7RtMVTexoQEEwPHCNpHegbbGufKfMNIBq8KEGjG6O_JzH2vljjUjKVXjG2Vk90HpkcOa6ncJeWQKstXPtKJaSjRuTac6PXgVCkgZlt2xLIVkapT1xBtlSzHBs/s1600/mom+shingles+2012.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjk7LZFcMBz50xhBfVziF7RtMVTexoQEEwPHCNpHegbbGufKfMNIBq8KEGjG6O_JzH2vljjUjKVXjG2Vk90HpkcOa6ncJeWQKstXPtKJaSjRuTac6PXgVCkgZlt2xLIVkapT1xBtlSzHBs/s320/mom+shingles+2012.JPG" width="277" /></a></div>
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This is a photo of Mom last year when she got shingles on her face and head. This is after 2 days of what the nursing home called a "rash" and it got much worse. The nursing home sent her to the doctor thinking she needed antibiotics but he immediately noticed that there were specific <b>linear boundaries </b>to it and diagnosed shingles. When someone has shingles on the head, s/he may get pus-filled blisters that ooze, like canker sores on ones lip but they are in a broader area within a specific boundary. Don't touch the ooze!! It's grose but it's full of the shingles virus and you could contract or spread it.<br />
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In mom's case it's like someone drew a perfectly level line starting just under her nose and around to her left ear then on to the back of her head. From that point the line went over the very middle of her head and down her nose. Think of a ball and the same lines; it's like 1/4 of the ball was covered in sores. <br />
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She had shingles years ago and they were in a very specific strip from the middle of her back around her waist to the left and across the front of her body. Shingles infects the nerve endings in the skin and the patterns are very specific and linear - it's very geometric. In men shingles often forms on the left chest, back and shoulder. The pain is quite severe and often the initial fear is a heart attack but it's on the surface not a deep pain so that's how you can tell the difference.<br />
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I would also note Mom's eye and the eyebrow. This area was swollen and painful overall. Her eyes are blue and usually clear but the infected eye turned right turquoise and the white part got yellowish. She had many sores in her eye brow and into her hair line.<br />
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A year later, I notice that her forehead is still red and blotchy and the hair in the infected area is thinner. She's 93 so part of it could be her age but I can't help wonder if the sores helped increase the thinning.<br />
<span style="color: #fff2cc; font-size: xx-small;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #fff2cc; font-size: xx-small;">Shingles on my head, shingles on the head, shingles on the face, how can i tell if i have shingles? How can i tell if mom has shingles? how can i tell if dad has shingles?</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-60230860821268224622013-11-04T23:13:00.003-08:002013-11-04T23:13:57.716-08:00So it's time to take away the car but should grandpa keep his guns too?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Caring for elderly parents often means worrying about the right time for them to stop driving but because I live in the US of A and we have the right to bare arms - it's irresponsible NOT to consider if and when to remove guns from an elderly family member. It is especially important if he or she is suffering from dementia, becoming paranoid or has violent potential.<br />
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Keeping a parent from driving seems minor compared to the possible firestorm that might result from telling grandpa that he can't be trusted with his hunting rifle any longer. I realized this today after reading about an 88 year old man who shot a police officer in the head after the officer responded to a fire at the elderly man's home. News reports indicate a history of threats to shoot neighbors and a short-lived restraining order filed by a girl friend. This makes me wonder if he had dementia which caused his outbursts to become worse over time.<br />
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Last year I read about another instance where an elderly man shot two of his children at his home. One died and the other was seriously injured. The man was later diagnosed with dementia and news reports indicated that police had been at the home before. I wonder why his children did not remove guns from the home if he was showing signs of dementia and growing paranoid. It seems like the first thing we should do but, like the car, the situation poses all kinds of emotional questions about their judgement, independence and rights. <br />
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We want to show our parents respect and empathy but something has to change. It's MORE important to remove firearms than a vehicle, though either might be used to cause harm. I would hope that police and families could work together to act when an elder demonstrates that he or she may no longer be trusted with guns. Families need to watch for the first sign that something is wrong and then take action. Unfortunately, given our right to own guns, I suspect there is no one to call for help unless the elderly person actually does something to actually harm somebody. It's a shame there is not more that police can do to remove fire arms from someone with alzheimers or any other type of dementia. I am all for forced removal of guns and ammunition as well as a federal blacklist of individual that are diagnosed with dementia, paranoia due to age related decline or anything other condition that could result in violent behavior. Though I have great compassion for these folks, at some point in the progression of their disease there is no reasoning with some violent elders. Thus, there is no reason they should retain their right to own guns - their right to bare arms must be removed for the safely of those around them. The right to a safe environment by the many far out weights the right of one who's judgement and comprehension are gone. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-11094059672926485032013-05-07T19:16:00.001-07:002013-05-07T19:16:59.642-07:00Best powder for old feet<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I stopped using foot powder with talc on my mom's feet; it seems to leave mom's feet looking worse! The best stuff is GoldBond medicated baby powder; iIt contains corn starch, kaolin clay and zinc oxide. It seems much finer than powders with talc and I believe the bits of talc have sharp edges that cause greater irritation. The clay in the baby powder may also be more absorbent. SO - to prevent sores and keep feet dry - powder WITHOUT talc. <br />
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For more advise on the best care for elderly feet see my other posts:<br />
http://help-4-mom.blogspot.com/2011/12/older-we-get-more-likely-we-are-to.html<br />
http://help-4-mom.blogspot.com/2009/12/elderly-skin-means-special-care.html <br />
http://help-4-mom.blogspot.com/2012/10/cold-feet-do-sweat-and-still-require.html<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #fff2cc;">What is the best powder to keep feet dry? Old feet have special needs. How do I keep mom's feet dry?</span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-52603554968075108872013-02-10T11:11:00.002-08:002013-02-10T11:23:29.581-08:00Clothing options for dowagers hump<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="font-size: small;">The past year or two finding tops to fit over my mom's severe dowagers hump is impossible so I alter </span>off-the-rack tops to fit her. I use an old method that my grandma <span style="font-size: small;">taught me when she made or altered clothes<span style="font-size: small;">. She<span style="font-size: small;"> used patterns that she knew w<span style="font-size: small;">ere </span></span></span></span>too big to make the garment then she'd have the "wearer" put it on inside out and pinch darts or seams where needed to get a better fit specific to "that" body. <br />
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So - now I buy tops for Mom that are too large, put them on her inside out and just start pinching fabric to make darts around the neck and upper body until the garment appears to fit better. Then I take it off and stitch up the darts. Often the altered top ends up being much shorter in back and longer in front so start with long garments to end up with something that has enough fabric to cover the back and still be long enough to come down beyond the waist. <br />
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Here are some tips that help ensure each is a success:<br />
<ol style="text-align: left;">
<li>practice with really cheap or used clothes, just TRY IT and you'll get the hang of it.</li>
<li>try knit fabrics first, zig-zag the end of fabric before hemming, </li>
<li>when hemming, it's
likely you'll have to sew across the bias (across the weave) since the
fabric will fall at an angle from the back due to the rounded hump. This takes some practice so give yourself a couple of inches of fabric BELOW where the hem will be to help with "smoothing" the hemline. </li>
<li>try some additional seems along the sides - think princess seams - to help remove extra "bulk" around the middle. don't be afraid to stitch it up and cut off the fabric after a few fittings to ensure it's a good fit. , if you get something large enough to fit over the back area, it's likely to be too big around the middle which will cause extra folds and unwanted bulk, the seams will help remove the bulk. </li>
<li>don't use tops with "shirt-type" collars, they are too hard to alter. </li>
<li>be prepared to re-hem the garment and cut off a lot in the front. </li>
<li>be sure to measure and pin the hem when the top is ON your elder, this ensures it's long enough and even. </li>
<li>use safety pins to keep the darts instead of straight pins; this prevents getting poked. </li>
</ol>
Good luck!<br />
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Here are links to other sources for information on sewing or fashions for clothing with dowagers hump:<br />
<a href="http://www.louisianaarthritisclinic.com/lookingbest.htm" target="_blank">Louisiana arthritis clinic</a><br />
<a href="http://rustybobbin.com/blog/?p=674" target="_blank">Rusty Bobbin blog</a><br />
<a href="http://www.threadsmagazine.com/item/5063/the-dowagers-hump" target="_blank">Threads magazine article on dowagers hump </a>(one of my fave magazines by the way)<br />
<a href="http://www.silverts.com/default.cfm?adv=AAA" target="_blank">Silverts for special needs or "adaptive" clothing</a><br />
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<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">clothing for dowagers hum, clothes to </span><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> cover dowagers hump</span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-31551542389349757942013-02-10T10:34:00.001-08:002013-02-12T22:23:45.468-08:00One of my posts makes me saddest...recurring sores and cancer<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
One post on this blog is, by far, the most popular and reading the numbers about it makes me sad. Titled "<a href="http://help-4-mom.blogspot.com/2010/12/caution-sores-that-wont-heal-may-be.html" target="_blank"><i>CAUTION - recurring sores may be skin cancer</i></a>", this post gets more and more hits everyday and that's what makes me sad. The posts come from all over globe, about half from the USA but many others in Europe, India, and former USSR block countries. If people are concerned enough to research sores or pimples that won't heal, it means they have reason to worry for themselves or likely someone they love.<br />
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If you're one of those readers, know that I hope and pray for YOU, for anyone, that dermatology care (skin doctor) is affordable and easy for you to find. I worry about the un-insured, who won't visit a doctor because they can't pay for it. Or people who ask a regular family doctor who will not take it seriously. I know of two cases where the patient's regular doctor would not make a referral to a dermatologist or the dermatologist got it wrong. One other, my nephew, didn't take it seriously and was uninsured. My husband asked for a biopsy only to stop my nagging and it turned out to be cancer. His physician never looked at his skin and only referred him for a biopsy because he wanted to help my husband get off his case. <br />
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The bullets below describe these cases. I will add that - none have passed away even though they got treatment more than 3 years ago. I hope that offers some comfort to know that many of these skin cancers, if caught soon enough, are can be treated and are not fatal. <br />
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Here are the cases and their symptoms.<br />
<ul style="text-align: left;">
<li><u>My husband, age 49 at the tim</u>e: <br /><b>location</b>: side of his nose, middle of his nostril<br /><b>appearance</b>: erupted as a pimple then healed up for about 3 months then erupted again, when not "a pimple" it was red and looked like a tiny cluster of capillaries or small blood vessels. <br /><b>prognosis</b>: very good; it was caught very, very early so they just cut out a small portion of his nostril, there is a small divot there now but it's hardly visible. If he gets too tan, it remains white but he should not be out in the sun anyway. It's been 3 years now and it looks better and smoother all the time. While the incision was healing he kept it covered with a band aid when he went out in the sun so that the healing skin would not darken permanently. </li>
<li><u>My nephew, age 28 at the time: </u><br /><b>location</b>: side of his nose, middle of his nostril<br /><b>appearance</b>: erupted as a pimple then healed up, when not "a pimple" it was red and looked like a tiny cluster of capillaries. The cluster grew as time went on. After a year he attempted to treat it with some kind of "black salve". This seemed to burn the skin and made it look horrible but did nothing to help it heal. If anything, it made things worse because it delayed his surgery and the cancer grew bigger. <br /><b>prognosis</b>: pretty good because he was young. It was caught early enough that surgery was possible but they had to remove his entire nostril and replace it with a flap of skin from his forehead. He was in a lot of pain during the three weeks it took for the flap to graft onto his nose. He had a 4 inch incision running up his forehead and the flap had to remain attached near his eye brow so that it got blood supply as it "grew" into his nostril. After a month he had another short procedure to sever the flap and close everything up. It's been 6 years now and his scars look better
and smoother all the time. He avoids the sun at all costs but as a teen and young adult, he regularly got terrible sunburn during the summer. He's convinced that this is the main cause of his cancer. I must note that 1 year after this surgery, he felt a small tingling under his eye and it turned out to be cancer as well. He caught it early so it was easily cutting out and there is little scaring.</li>
<li><u>My friend, age 60 at the time: </u>two types of cancer<br /><b>location</b>: cheeks and bridge of nose <br /><b>appearance</b>:
scaly patches on cheeks and a very smooth patch of pale skin on the nose. She was treated for psoriasis on her cheeks for at least 5 years before going to a new dermatologist who did immediate biopsies and found cancer. The dermatologist noticed the patch on her nose had no visible pores so ordered a biopsy of it as well, it was also cancer. <br /><b>prognosis</b>: very good, subsequent check ups reveal no return of either cancer. Both were slow growing types of cancers. She believes that if she had not gone to a new dermatologist she might have a very bad prognosis. She will tell anyone - follow your hunches, be an advocate for yourself and get pushy with your doctor or find another if you feel it's necessary. Even psoriasis should respond to treatment after a while. She was embarrassed that she waited 5 years to seek a second option.</li>
<li><u>My friend's mother, age 82 at the time</u><br /><b>location</b>: top of the bridge of her nose and down the side, the region where eye glasses would rest against her skin.<b><br />appearance</b>:
red blistered patch of skin that would seem to heal a bit then get worse again. She had very fair skin and was sensitive to perfumes and dyes. Her general practice doctor told her and her daughters it was irritation from glasses or sunglasses, even though he was told over and over she didn't wear glasses, not even reading glasses. One visit to a new doctor and he sent her to a dermatologist without question, he was immediately quite concerned about it. We believe that the original doctor didn't care because she was elderly, beginning to demonstrate age-related forgetfulness and her only insurance was medicare. <br /><b>prognosis</b>: good because it was a slow growing cancer, subsequent check ups reveal no return of the cancer. </li>
</ul>
<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"> Recurring pimple on nose, recurring sore on nose. sore that won't go away, sore that will not go away, pimple that will not go away<span style="color: #444444;"><span style="color: #fff2cc;">reoccurring l<span style="font-size: xx-small;">esion on nose, </span></span></span></span></span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-85046576518012208442012-12-26T10:05:00.000-08:002012-12-26T10:05:42.255-08:00At the nursing home and back in the kitchen on Christmas Eve<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
As simple as it was, this year made for quite a memorable Christmas Eve for me. For the first time since Mom's been there - nearly 3 years now - we all gathered to spend Christmas Eve with her. At Mom's request, my sister-in-law and my niece made stew and we all met at the nursing home to share a simple supper with mom. We thought we arrived early enough to get a nice spot near the fireplace in the "living room" but we were too late. We asked an aide for help finding some place private - mainly because we're loud not because we didn't want to be with others - the only place free and large enough was the rehab kitchen. It's a large room with a big table and all the basic stuff you find in any home - range, fridge, sink, microwave.... We were a little frustrated not to find a better spot but we aren't complainers so we settled in to eat and talked and gave each other a hard time. It was quite relaxing and soon 2 hours had slipped away.<br />
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About then I looked at Mom and she was smiling with tears running down her cheeks, she said, "It's just like home, Christmas Eve in the kitchen...", we all got quiet for a minute and laughed. You see, my parents home was small but their kitchen was huge - it really dominated the house. The table was oak, sturdy and probably five feet in diameter. At the holiday's we'd cook, family would bring extra food and we'd lay it out on the cabinets, the sink, the appliances - every flat spot - for a buffet; then we squeezed around each other to fill plate and down to eat at that big table. It made no difference to us what it looked like as long as everyone got plenty to eat. <br />
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By arriving a little late Fate and that aide put us in just the right spot to make mom feel more at home than she has in 3 years. It's a simple thing, to feel "at home" but when someone is in an institution like a nursing home, it's huge. For her it felt "normal" again; she'll remember that feeling for what's left of the rest of her life. It might be enough to sustain her mood, help her feel content and loved. At this point, it's the greatest gift we can give to her. <br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #fff2cc;">Christmas in Idaho, Mom's last christmas. </span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-12322564913725575972012-10-21T10:54:00.001-07:002012-10-21T10:56:14.435-07:00Cold feet DO sweat and still require preventive powder<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I've noticed an odd thing about Mom's feet over the past few years - they always seem cold yet she still seems to get athlete's foot fungus between her toes. It seems odd that cold feet would sweat enough to release moisture that would enable growth of fungus but it happens. Her feet are in pretty good shape these days because the aides apply non-talc powder to her feet each morning. They also try to apply power to other locations that may retain moisture - under arms, breasts, behind her knees. It seems to work very well. It's a preventive measure to ensure the fungus doesn't start to grow. It helps ensure dryness to existing fungus may be "healed" by the body - though the chance it will return always exists. <br />
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I've definitely noticed that non-talc powder is easier on Mom's skin. When we used spray foot powder and talc or talcum powder at home Mom's skin remained red and peeled. Switching to non-talc powder, or corn starch, the redness disappeared and peeling stopped virtually overnight. <br />
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To see other posts on skin or feet, read these:<br />
<a href="http://help-4-mom.blogspot.com/2009/12/elderly-skin-means-special-care.html" target="_blank">post from 2009</a><br />
<a href="http://help-4-mom.blogspot.com/2011/12/older-we-get-more-likely-we-are-to.html" target="_blank">post from 2011 </a><br />
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<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">old feet have special needs, care for old feet, grandmas feet, grandpas feet</span></span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-59338832640580482142012-10-18T21:48:00.002-07:002012-10-18T21:48:55.618-07:00Tragedy in North Dakota, do I tell mom?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Today I learned that Mom's home town was burned to the ground - the WHOLE town. It was a little wide spot in the road surrounded by farms. There was only a grain elevator, a small Lutheran church and a few old houses left. The school, small shops and half the houses were abandoned and turn down long ago. The heart breaking thing is that two homes consumed by the fire belonged to my great grandfather and my great aunt and uncle. The homes were old and sat near large old barns, corals and small out buildings. It was like going "home" for my mom and for me. Though the town had seen more prosperous times, we could still go there and feel the presence of our elders. A few years ago when my husband and I drove from the mid-west to the north-west we stopped to see the farm. Though the house was locked up, we sat on the front porch and had a picnic. I could see my great grand fathers hat and jacket hanging near the door like it had for the last 25 years, as though he'd just left. For supper we traveled to my cousins to have "hot dish" and salad. That won't be possible any more, there is nothing left at either place.<br />
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My brother and I spoke a bit tonight about whether we should tell Mom. I think she'll probably know all about it soon. She watches the news and reads every syllable of the paper so it won't escape her. I know she'll feel so very badly and she has no one to discuss it with; she's the only one left of her immediate family; all of her aunts and uncles have passed and most of her cousins. She can't hear on the phone any longer so I can't even console her that way. I think I'll call a former neighbor who sees her weekly and ask if she can let me know if Mom's heard the news. Then I can send some flowers and a letter and see her soon to talk about it. I'll plan a trip to see her in a couple of weeks. <br />
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In the mean time, I'll grieve some myself for the little town. Like Mom, I'd probably never have gone back to visit again, there was something that made me feel good to know it was there, just as I remembered, just as my grand parents and aunts and uncles left them. It was like a little bit of them was left too but now it's truly gone for good and that makes me very sad. <br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-10994681297218764352012-10-07T10:40:00.000-07:002012-10-07T10:42:54.827-07:00Mom's lectures about bones are saving me right now...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Last week I learned that all my mom's lectures about bones and health helped me even though she might not have followed her own good advice. I had a quick and easy bone density test at work and learned that at age 50, I have the bone density of a 24 year old woman - that's someone half my age. It was such a huge relief!<br />
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The test was so easy; it took only 1 minute and was completed by a machine the size of a large back pack. The machine had a groove down the center where I put my foot. The machine used sound waves to judge the thickness of my heel bone; it was pain free. The nurse told me that heel bones are very similar to the large bones in our hips so testing it was a good indicator of the density of the large bones that support our frame - our hips. <br />
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I am in a high risk group for osteoporosis - or so I've been told...So for more than a decade, I've taken Calcium with vitamin D each morning and Calcium/Magesium/Zinc each night after I brush my teeth. I also eat a lot of yogurt and cheese. Years ago a doctor told me that due to small bones, white hair at an early age and half Scandinavian heritage - I had a higher risk of osteoporosis. I don't know if research continues to support those risk factors or not but, once my Mom heard that she began to nag me about calcium, Vitamin D and eating enough healthy food. "Take care of the inside first. Don't worry about the outside; it won't look good of the inside's not healthy." She's so right.<br />
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I must also give credit to my gynecologist who realized that my hormones where out of whack and started me on low dose estrogen at 46, two years before a full hysterectomy. Though I've fretted about my weight over the past 3 years and been lazy about working out for the last decade, I wonder if my 30 extra pounds has actually helped me. Has the weight meant that my frame - my skeleton, my bones - had to be stronger to hold it up? I don't know but I don't think it hurt me.<br />
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Going forward though, I must be SURE I'm healthy from the inside out so I'll take my mom's advice and also do something she didn't. Mom had a large yard and garden that she tended all year long. I hope to do the same after I purchase a house in a month or so. In the mean time and even after I get the house, I MUST be deliberate about exercise. I must life weights to strengthen and do yoga / stretching to maintain my flexibility and balance. I believe it's those things - along with a good diet - that will ensure I avoid osteoporosis and the pain that goes with it.<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #fff2cc;">How do i prevent osteoporosis? Easy bone density test, how do they test bone density? prevention of osteoporosis, prevention of weak bones, risk factors for osteporosis</span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-88465678013419888852012-10-07T09:42:00.001-07:002012-10-07T09:45:12.567-07:00Tough little momma is hanging in there...in spite of broken femur<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I just re-read my post from March 2010 when I was reasonably certain my Mom would quickly fail and pass away after suffering a broken sacrum. Well, it's 1 1/2 years and she's still with us. Her latest ailment is a broken femur; suffered when she slipped from her wheel chair as she tried to reach a newspaper that fell to the floor.<br />
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Though she seems smaller and weaker each time I see her, her spirit is still strong and her mind is still curious. She reads every syllable in the news paper every day; she wants to watch educational PBS programs on the outdoors, animals and science. She wakes up to have hope for something positive every day. That's how I want to approach life. I wish I'd realized it sooner, the first 50 years would have been much more fun and less stressful.<br />
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So - what to do about the broken femur. The goal is to keep her pain free; it's unlikely the bone will heal well enough for her to put more weight on it. The break is along a diagonal line about 2 inches above her left knee and at 92, there is little that doctors can do for Mom. They can't put her under for surgery since the amount of anesthesia would likely kill her. If they tried to perform surgery they'd attempt to screw the broken piece of bone to the larger piece above but her doctor is worried that any screws would simply shatter either piece of bone making for an even worse break and more pain. SO -the plan is to keep it immobile for 8 weeks hoping that it will knit together enough to keep the broken piece in place and avoid pain. Mom can never put weight on the leg again. If it doesn't work, I asked the doctor if it could be glued into place. I'm hoping it might be done with a local anesthetic. My aunt had part of her spine glued when she chipped a vertebra, my cousin had a knee cap glued.. so, I'm hoping.... He didn't say "no" but he didn't say it's possible either... All I can do is hope and pray for my little momma...<br />
<br />
What caused the broken femur? There are 2 obvious causes - osteoporosis and mom falling from the wheel chair. The osteoporosis is a natural occurance of aging and the fall from the wheel chair is inevitable - but BOTH could have been minimized. If Mom had remained more active, taken calcium and vitamin D and low dose estrogen her bones might be in better shape. If the nursing home aides had helped mom to her recliner instead of leaving her in the wheel chair, she'd never have slipped out of it. Again, it's another thing about to complain to the state but it's unlikely to change. There are just too few aides to take care of too many patients.<br />
<br />
Read my next post on how to prevention of osteoporosis...<br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #fff2cc;">How can i prevent osteoporosis? How did mom break her femur How did dad break his femur broken femur in elderly</span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-66282404431461065952012-08-21T19:38:00.003-07:002012-08-21T19:38:29.251-07:00Mom's wisdom<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
I saw my mom last weekend after 6 weeks - it's WAYYY too long to go between visits. She remains philosophical about life. Here is her latest wisdom:<br />
<span class="userContent"> Too soon old, too late smart she says, as well as: <br /> - don't regret being compassionate or affectionate, neither are shameful things <br /> - you'll think more about both when you're old and have all this time to sit and reflect<br /> - fish more or grow more and shop less</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-9385375270814861382012-02-04T00:30:00.000-08:002012-02-04T00:30:27.575-08:00Follow up on epidural for pain after broken sacrum<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Mom suffered a broken sacrum just about one year ago but now she's relatively pain free and we're so thankful. Mom's broken sacrum caused excruciating severe pain for several reasons - it's in a location that is the base of the body's core so key nerves pass through the sacrum. The break was near the sciatic nerves, those that pass from the spine down into the legs. The area was bruised which means broken capillaries; the problem is that nerves HATE blood and send pain signals to the brain in response to blood. So - broken bones, swelling pushing the bones into sciatic nerves and the presence of blood around the nerves was just unbareable. Now mom's relatively pain free but she is much more bent and has no strength in her legs at all. she can no longer roll over in bed either but that's probably safer since she can't roll out of bed.<br />
<br />
<br />
Mom's doctor treated her with a combination of drugs and the miracle epidural right in the nerves. She had immediate relief. A year later, she still has a pain patch and takes a certain pain medication that works specifically on "nerve pain". I don't know what that means or what it does but I don't care - Mom's pain free. If it turned her hair purple, we would not care - anything is better than the torture she suffered last year.<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #fff2cc; font-size: xx-small;">Cause of pain due to broken sacrum, </span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-46784726145028454662012-01-22T10:46:00.000-08:002012-01-22T10:46:00.965-08:00Fall from a lift and mom's high tolerance to pain leave me worried<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Mom's had another incident at the nursing home that will leave me worrying for a couple of weeks. The aides use something called a "sit to stand lift" to move her from chair to toilet. Apparently, she lost her grip and she slid out of the lift; the aid saw it coming and caught her and "sat her on the floor". They said there's no bruising, no broken arms or legs and no pain so she seems fine. My fear now is that something more is wrong but the signs will be so subtle that it will go ignored or unnoticed until she's in excruciating pain; that's what happened last year about this time. <br />
<br />
I worry that Mom will have pain but won't feel it. Since her broken sacrum was diagnosed in February 2011, Mom's been on pain medication that works on her nerves (those little things that transmit pain to the brain) and she wears a pain patch. To make it more complex, I believe that she has an increased tolerance to pain after a stroke during my birth. I've seen her burn her hand canning and not realize it until her fingers are full of big blisters. At that time she was un-phased and just kept working; she said "It doesn't hurt, it can't be that bad."<br />
<br />
She "seemed fine" after the "assist to the floor" last January yet she ended up dead in the MRI machine. I told the nurse who called to tell all the aides to look for "crankiness", impatience or asking the aides if it's time yet for another pain pill. These are all signs that she's having more pain that SHE or the aide's realize. I noticed it in her over the holidays - before the "assist to the floor", a month before her pain became excruciating. Mom's normally in good spirits and doesn't complain; but at Christmas she was disgusted and griped constantly about everything - gifts, visitors, her shoes, her clothes, the aides, my hair, the beautician. I realize now this was her pain talking. We might have saved her from the MRI fiasco, the delerium of the narcotics and the bedridden period she required to "heal". ( I don't believe her sacrum will ever "heal" but that's another post..)<br />
<br />
<br />
I'm frustrated because I've expressed concern about this "sit-to-stand" lift for a few months. It's a lift that uses straps under her arms to raise her up from a chair onto this small platform where she "stands" - holding on - while the lift is rolled right up to the toilet. There she's lowered on to the commode to do her business. The process is reversed to get her back to her chair. <br />
<br />
The straps that go under her arms are too loose and lift her from the shoulders than the behind. I've told them she could suffer a dislocated shoulder; it falls on deaf ears. She is also very weak in the hands and unable to grip the handles properly so I worry that she'll let go - which she did yesterday - and just fold up and fall out of the lift. The aides and nurses don't seem to worry - when it comes to this stuff they are REACTIVE not PROACTIVE. To do anything differently would require 2 aides not 1 - translation: the lift works for a one time price; another aide = another body at work costs too much. I suppose they rationalize it by saying that they want the patient to do as much for themselves as possible. <br />
<br />
I know they are operating to make a profit but it often seems to be at the expense of my Mom's well being. <br />
<br />
Here are a couple of photos that illustrate the lift. The one on the second is the type used with mom - the hand holds are black knobs. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVeOsdp16SD6VgNW09nibPrxEKPDuS8OgEw0GjctytFMokmGHDJIQLBzRVJAuW9Zn9rmYe7amai-ve7nOTr7xfIt7BKgJUX78ClIVOPySQr6C7mSbrBZgj71FGm6cHo74fWsDOHrZcQfc/s1600/sit+to+stand+used+properly.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVeOsdp16SD6VgNW09nibPrxEKPDuS8OgEw0GjctytFMokmGHDJIQLBzRVJAuW9Zn9rmYe7amai-ve7nOTr7xfIt7BKgJUX78ClIVOPySQr6C7mSbrBZgj71FGm6cHo74fWsDOHrZcQfc/s1600/sit+to+stand+used+properly.jpeg" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6LmX5tiCI_bU2AWco8WnMR4L03RY3nVLwo09b5uS40cNE9408voNJw-KxOpKxp05B5zCLjSABEeShIWhw7vwwyNjq4fBMRONSCHfw6gMcwVLcbWuBpIwBPHfj1RVkKnDxME3OG7gBJy8/s1600/sit+to+stand+used+on+mom.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6LmX5tiCI_bU2AWco8WnMR4L03RY3nVLwo09b5uS40cNE9408voNJw-KxOpKxp05B5zCLjSABEeShIWhw7vwwyNjq4fBMRONSCHfw6gMcwVLcbWuBpIwBPHfj1RVkKnDxME3OG7gBJy8/s1600/sit+to+stand+used+on+mom.jpeg" /></a></div><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #fff2cc;">sit-to-stand lifts risks, subtle signs of pain in elderly, use of lifts in nursing homes.</span></span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-58792428662277066642011-12-26T12:26:00.000-08:002011-12-26T12:49:42.159-08:00Be thankful there are people who don't like you...<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Today, the day after a weekend of time spent with family and loving friends, I am left thankful that there are people who <b>do not like me</b>. In fact, the more they <i><b>dis-like</b></i> me the better. The reason is simple: these people are so lacking in moral fiber and have such little thought for the feelings of others, that, if they <i><b>did</b></i> like me, I would wonder just what kind of low-life jerk I had become.<br />
<br />
My cousin called this morning upset over mail he received from the attorney for his evil step mother. Getting it brought back decades of hurtful memories caused in large part by her selfish behavior. From the time he was 10, any interaction with her and most interaction with his father left him disappointed, feeling abandoned and cast aside. The evil witch died months ago and her attorney and son, the Executor of her estate, mailed her will just in time for it to arrive on Christmas Eve. Given the history of this woman, it is a fitting action for someone who was so maliciously and deliberately mean throughout her life. It seems that the evil things she did were lessons well learned by at least one of her children - the other wanted nothing to do with her.. I can understand why.<br />
<br />
The "inheritance" she left to my cousin was the small sum of $1. I am certain she did it so that there could be no way to contest the estate of her husband, father to my cousins, thus leaving everything to her sons. It's not like there is a lot of cash property to be had and my cousins would not want it anyway because it means hashing up to much pain and disappointment. But, to leave them with $1 and then send a letter at this time of year is just mean-spirited. My cousins have had nothing to do with her for nearly 15 years, why is it necessary to send anything now?<br />
<br />
Years ago in the 60's, this woman decided that she would marry my uncle - never mind that he was already married with one grown daughter and 2 sons at home. She pursued him in a town small enough that most people knew everyone else's business and he was happy to have the additional female attention. Neither of them cared that the eldest son was ridiculed by friends on the main street of town because his father was seen out with another woman. Neither of them cared that his youngest sat and sat and sat waiting the driveway of the other woman's house while my uncle visited her and her sons inside. There were too many times to count that my uncle made a promise to my cousins only to take it back because his girl friend and then wife made other plans. Most times, she was there to hear the plans and readily agreed yet when the time came, my uncle would cancel at the last minute in deference to her. She knew my cousins would be hurt and disappointed yet she made other plans anyway. After seeing her do this over and over, one can only conclude that she knew EXACTLY what she was doing. We are left to wonder <i><b>why</b></i> - there was no threat to her or her relationship with my uncle. His first wife was to tired and busy working to put up a fight. My uncle's siblings were too darned polite to cause a rift between them so why go out of her way to hurt his kids?<br />
<br />
Through it all my cousins tried to put their hurt aside and treat their father with respect and kindness. When he died, none of them got a call until after he passed even though he was hospitalized for days. They were denied the gift of simply saying good bye. None of them wanted anything to memorialize him except for small sentimental things - a fishing pole perhaps - yet she responded with mean cursing, name calling and restraining orders. She was always good at playing the victim yet she was the ultimate culprit in hurt and meanness. I've known people who called her, "that poor Pat, the single mother with the sick son." There was nothing poor about her. She wanted someone to take care of her and did it at the terrible expense of 4 others. I can't let my uncle off the hook - he is just as culpable but I do not believe he was as capable of such malicious planning as she. His are sins of insecurity and thoughtlessness. He didn't realize how much he was loved and needed by his family. His 2nd wife KNEW how much the first family loved and needed him. Taking him away from them made her feel powerful and happy. God forbid someone like that come into my life - or anyone else's for that matter. <br />
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It makes me sad to write something like this at a time of the year when we should be appreciative of family but it also sets me free. I am thankful that my family and friendships are genuine and sincere! </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-25929688115279183942011-12-18T12:39:00.000-08:002011-12-26T21:38:06.367-08:00More advice on old feet - dealing with "foot funk"<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">The older we get the more likely we are to develop "foot funk" - it's my generic term for athlete's foot, toe fungus and generally dry scaly appearance. With my Mom's feet, there are dry patches on her heels and calouses and then there are overly moist hard-to-keep dry areas between her toes. I also notice that the area between her does almost looked "spongy" at times - the skin was white on top with small holes. When I spread her toes it would stretch and tear, revealing dark pink skin underneath. The top layers of skin would very easily peel or rub off and the skin below could split and become painful. When I first began watching her feet, this happened a lot but over a few weeks time - with diligent attention and a some new practices - we healed up the worst spots and all she suffered was some itching now and then - a huge improvement over the keep cracks and odors. <br />
<br />
Poor circulation means that Mom wants socks and shoes on all the time but that means the area between her toes don't get "aired out" and remain moist. When Mom was home I soaked her feet in a mix of water and white vinegar (4 to 1 dilution), water and listerine (2 to 1 dilution) and tried an occasional massage with tea tree oil after cleaning and drying her feet well. Be warned, I used the tea tree oil ONLY after the cracks on her skin were healed. DO NOT USE TEA TREE OIL ON OPEN WOUNDS! The water and white vinegar once a week seemed to work best. She had a couple of spots between her two most outer toes that were stubborn and it took a long time to see improvement in the skin. For these I used anti-fungal cream for a couple of months. When I was not there, she was able to put the cream between her toes herself everyday. This helped it to heal so that a mild vinegar soak was able to keep the fungus at bay. I didn't want to soak her feet until these areas where improved because I thought the vinegar might burn or sting raw open spots between those toes.<br />
<br />
I don't think you can ever get rid of this stuff once it's there; it's a matter of keeping it under control. I've read that there are dietary changes that also help - it's basically reducing sugar intake. Sugar is fungus' favorite food so if you eat a lot of it or if you're diabetic and your body can't process sugar, you might have more problems with athlete's foot - and fungus in other spots like jock itch or vagina yeast infections....but - our focus here is FEET so please read on......<br />
<br />
Here are some of the things that worked for my mom's feet: Remember that we had to be diligent about this, it became part of her regular daily routine:<br />
<b>Socks: </b> always use cotton, wool or some of the new materials that wick moisture AWAY from the skin. change socks daily and wash socks alone in small loads. Use hot water and put at least one cup of white vinegar, 2 cups is probably best, in the wash water to help kill fungus. I got the "wicking" socks at REI in the hiking section. If it was especially cold, I'd put those on first then a 2nd pair of wool socks. <br />
<b>Shoes</b>: if possible, let them go without shoes, this permits air to circulate around the feet. Often shoes for our elders are made of vinyl or other man-made products that don't permit air circulation. My mom used to complain of her feet feeling cold and wet when she wore cheap sneakers - they were, she had poor circulation but her feel still sweated and it stayed there in her poly-canvas shoes. EEE..UUUuuuuu<br />
<b>Powder: </b>We used a spray athlete's foot powder, medicated foot powder, corn starch and baking soda combined - they all helped if used <i><u><b>regularly</b></u></i> - meaning EVERYDAY. The generic store brands of spray powder and anti-fungal cream from Target were just as effective as the more spendy brands. I recommend avoiding powers with talc; talc seemed to make the deepest problems worse. Be sure to wipe it off with dry tissues at least once a day and re-apply.<br />
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<b style="color: #cc0000;">DIABETIC readers: </b>PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE - don't just take my advice here, see a doctor about your feet and how to best take care of your feet. If cracks in your skin do not seem to heal, you might need more than over-the-counter medication. <br />
<br />
For my original ideas on care of old feet, see this blog post from 2009<br />
<a href="http://help-4-mom.blogspot.com/2009/12/elderly-skin-means-special-care.html" target="_blank">2009 article Old feet have special needs</a><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #fff2cc; font-size: xx-small;">How do i take care of diabetic feet? How do i clean up grandmas feet? how do i trim grandpas toe nails. Old feet have special needs.</span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-11456810214810387752011-12-17T23:29:00.000-08:002011-12-17T23:29:25.356-08:00I found another Christmas surprise for mom - a "bangle" wrist watch<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Purely by accident, I found the perfect gift for my mom - a "bangle" wristwatch. This is not just a simple bangle. The watch band is made of two metal pieces that attach to the watch with hinges so they open up wide which will allow mom to put the watch over her wrists with ease. <br />
<br />
I'm so excited to find this for her. She's gone through several watches and it's always hard to find one with a face that's medium sized yet has big numbers so she can easily see it. I really think she'll be pleased. Here are some photos that show the watch; the watch with the hinges in the normal position and the hinges spread apart a little. <br />
<br />
If anyone needs such a watch for a male, there are some very basic designs that would be suitable for a man - plain black watch bands, plain white faces and plain black numbers. I found this one at Kohls - and it was ON SALE!!<br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv6rruLoThFBkDmNpf2nQE2FmjjDUKlFveqOZ5Nm3p57btf5MDX6-AclSu9UZB5zMaBbHWC_GLRwVFHf2ULtvV8Ml9kL1UYwAdcJPhm0ph9d_vDULOJYd8hRp9nVFlm8Xnd8RIaTozTQo/s1600/IMG_2223.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjv6rruLoThFBkDmNpf2nQE2FmjjDUKlFveqOZ5Nm3p57btf5MDX6-AclSu9UZB5zMaBbHWC_GLRwVFHf2ULtvV8Ml9kL1UYwAdcJPhm0ph9d_vDULOJYd8hRp9nVFlm8Xnd8RIaTozTQo/s320/IMG_2223.JPG" width="273" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Medium sized watch face with large numbers at all hours not just 3, 6, 9 & 12. </td></tr>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmZWX6KplLOl5_ns3xM5ZtNiYs8PPm4Ht-NHi89bE3Wrk14OywNLDewdPAYUUBCbkJ6LlYWvvYM6iJFXs9HeuNjnTHDdI_rfIXCpnRsCaB5aQF-3v92Vbf1I9Tr_Tvn-yzATzeRIZBvZ4/s1600/IMG_2226.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="293" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmZWX6KplLOl5_ns3xM5ZtNiYs8PPm4Ht-NHi89bE3Wrk14OywNLDewdPAYUUBCbkJ6LlYWvvYM6iJFXs9HeuNjnTHDdI_rfIXCpnRsCaB5aQF-3v92Vbf1I9Tr_Tvn-yzATzeRIZBvZ4/s320/IMG_2226.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The watch when hinges are "closed" or not extended. </td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjksLq-RlEy8ai9NNdsobreGN2OTdvXY4Kv_AzjPZV8UU1OaC3OhlNNKKbR3MB-tNmlwXeM76t12X4zbvG8rzH0bqpAFLgBX6-Q0NbfKHR4EwTbAfzaa33UdczWTqNO8Ck295RfOEGmjDU/s1600/IMG_2228.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="227" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjksLq-RlEy8ai9NNdsobreGN2OTdvXY4Kv_AzjPZV8UU1OaC3OhlNNKKbR3MB-tNmlwXeM76t12X4zbvG8rzH0bqpAFLgBX6-Q0NbfKHR4EwTbAfzaa33UdczWTqNO8Ck295RfOEGmjDU/s320/IMG_2228.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This demonstrates how the hinges open, this is only about 2/3 of the possible width. This permits Mom to open it herself and put it over her wrist. It sort of makes it a flexible size too since her wrist can swell to 2-3 times normal size due to arthritis. </td></tr>
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<span style="color: #fff2cc; font-size: xx-small;">What should I get grandma for Christmas. What's the best gift for grandma for Christmas. what should i get grandma for her birthday. </span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-10587452760971082802011-12-04T18:07:00.000-08:002011-12-04T18:07:52.342-08:00More ideas for Grandma at Christmas..<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">This year I don't face the challenge to get Mom a Christmas gift. She's getting 3 things that will make her life more comfty: <br />
<ul style="text-align: left;"><li>a pencil box full of rectractible pens</li>
<li>several packets of eye glass wipes</li>
<li>a new fleece jacket with a hood. </li>
</ul>She loves to do cross-word puzzles and pens always seem to disappear - I know the aides take them since she can't possibly use up ink that fast. I got several packets of pens and used a silver sharpie to write her name on them. I found an "easy open" pencil box in the school department at a local large retailer and voila - gift #1 down. I won't give her all the pens now; I'll stash them at home and mail her a few at a time.<br />
<br />
<b>The eye glass wipes are a must.</b> It seems her glasses are always dirty. The aides just don't have time to help residents wash their glasses. So now she can do it herself.<br />
<br />
<b>The fleece jacket will go over big.</b> mom's got a couple of them already but they are looking ratting and old. She needs a "dressier" version. I buy hooded ones for her because of her dowager's hump. The fabric for the hood wraps up and around her neck to help keep her warm. <br />
<br />
Some other ideas for gifts:<br />
<b>A "counter top" wreath hanger to hold photo frames</b>. This is basically a pole rising above a stand with a hook at the top. Mom can't hang anything on the walls in her nursing home so I got a couple of these. One sits on the night stand next to her bed and holds a photo frame. The other sits next to the sink and holds seasonal decorations.<br />
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<b>A cabinet hook (think kitchen towels)</b> to hang a photo frame, decorations or a jacket or sweater. I found this in the kitchen department. It's supposed to hook over a kitchen cabinet door and hold a dish towel but it's just the right size to go on the cabinet door or drawer front in mom's room too. I got one for her birthday and hung a photo frame from it. Be sure to find the lightest frame possible since you don't want to ruin the hinges on any cabinet doors.<br />
<br />
<b>Slippers</b> - especially easy on and easy off slippers. I got Mom some with velcro closure. It's necessary now since she lacks the dexterity to tie shoes. <br />
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<b>Gift certificates to the nearest salon for shampoo and set</b>. I pay for a "resident trust" at mom's nursing home but some families can't afford to do this. It would be nice if someone gave other residents a $40-50 gift certificate to the in-house salon. This would get them 4-5 haircuts - it goes a long way toward helping them feel better.<br />
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<b>Individually wrapped candy bars</b>. Do this ONLY if your elder can have sugar. While these aren't as good as a whole box of chocolates, it means that the candy will keep a long long time. If they're in a nursing home or assisted living, it also gives them something to share with the staff or other residents.<br />
<b><br />
</b><br />
<b>Here's another idea for TIME but comes with something to d</b>o: Get a couple boxes of Christmas cards and stamps then spend a couple of hours dictating messages to friends and family for your elder. Let them sign the cards and then drop them in the mail. It will help your elder feel like they can still do something meaningful for others. And, if they get cards in return, let them know that others appreciate them and remember them.<br />
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<b>Help them give something to others</b>: capture your elders favorite recipes and prepare a small book of their recipes for others. If you can, write some stories about their relatives who taught them to cook; to do a craft like quilting or who most inspired them. Have the elder sign all the copies before you distribute them. One thing that means a lot to me is a few recipes that my grandmother actually wrote in her own hand. It might also be nice to have grandma or grandpa write their recipes and scan them in then print them.<br />
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<b>Subscription to magazines with large print or some that are good reading:</b> Readers Digest; or something that will stimulate their brains like Popular Mechanics, literary magazines or National Geographic. I recommend avoiding things like Redbook, Ladies Home Journal, or others that are about food, fashion or home decorating - really, it's so inappropriate for someone their age, especially if they no longer live at home.<br />
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<b>A clipboard with a compartment for documents</b>. My mom uses this as a light weight lap desk. It's also a good place to hide pends from the aides! I attached a strap of ribbon so it's easier to pick up. I drilled two holes in the end opposite the clip, then cut a 7 inch ribbon and poked then ends into the holes. I tied knots at the ends of the ribbon so that they are inside the document compartment. <br />
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If your elder is still at home: give them coupons to eat out at a local restaurant. Better yet, make a couple of appointments to take them to lunch and then FOLLOW THROUGH!!!! This is especially important in Jan, Feb and March when it's cold and dark and they might not get much company.<br />
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A telephone with volume control on the handset and large numbers. This is especially helpful for those with hearing aides. Hearing aids and telephones don't always work well together. If they want to remove their hearing aide, the volume control will permit them to hear well without it.<br />
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<span style="color: #fff2cc; font-size: xx-small;">What can I get grandma for Christmas. What can I get for grandpa for Christmas. </span><br />
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</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-20863358624026092822011-11-15T22:08:00.000-08:002011-11-15T22:08:24.238-08:00Isolation is over but I find other problems at the nursing home<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">I finally got in a good visit with Mom. I traveled 7 hours to her home town and got to see her daily for three days. On my first visit, after I hugged her like crazy, I took a good long look around. I looked at the bedding, her clothes, her shoes, her drawers in the night stand - everything, anything... What I found was disturbing and encouraging. All of her clothes and shoes where there, her bedding was clean. ... however.... in the bottom drawer of her nightstand I found a bed pan. This is the normal storage for bedpans in Mom's nursing home; they use them, rinse and wash them and store each in a thick plastic bag. This one was not in a bag and was smeared with something brown.... it's a bed pan, that can only mean one thing.... EEEEEeeeUUUU uuuuu!!!!<br />
<br />
So, I asked floor nurse - not the aid - to come to look at "something disturbing".<br />
Me: pointing to the open drawer: <i>"Is that a bed pan?</i>"<br />
Nurse: glancing down, hands on hips: "<i>Yes, it is. We always keep them in the bottom drawer</i>." <br />
Me: pointing to the bed pan and the smear, "<i>What do you suppose that brown substance might be?</i>"<br />
Nurse: suddenly paying close attention, "<i>Oh! that's not acceptable</i>!" <br />
Me: bending over and pointing, "<i>And, those, are those the same bandages you use on Mom's stasis ulcers?</i>"<br />
Nurse: "<i>I'll have someone clean it up right away.</i>"<br />
<br />
...and she did. The nurse threw the bedpan in the trash and soon housekeeping came to clean the drawer with a bleach solution. I am left wondering how long a dirty bed pan had been in the drawer and if the nurse putting on Mom's bandages would have used them or thrown them away. Someone put a dirty bed pan in the drawer- it could have been the night before or days before. Someone might have been using a dirty bed pan for days. Someone changes mom's bandages daily and should have seen it and done something. It's always "someone else" whenever I find this type of stuff at the nursing home. <br />
<br />
Every visit I find something terribly disturbing. It does not leave me confident that Mom's getting good care. This nursing home is ranked fairly well compared to others across the state, I can only imagine how crappy - no pun intended - that must be. <br />
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</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-45134466453392036212011-10-14T22:47:00.000-07:002011-10-23T11:45:53.877-07:00"Exile" continues this time due to shingles.<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Friday, Oct 14. I rushed 7 hours from my home to Mom's so I could attend a doctor visit with her. The prior weekend, the nursing home sent her to the ER for a "rash" on her forehead. The ER sent her home with antibiotic ointment. Two days later it was a larger rash, swelling and a bruise. Today she looked like someone kicked her in the left eye. Her eye was swollen nearly shut and oozing goop. She has what looks like scabby scrapes on her forehead and into her hair line.<br />
<br />
As soon as I saw her get off the bus, I bent and gently hugged her without coming into contact with her swollen face. I lifted her hair to note a couple of "rashy" spots on her scalp. After seeing the doctor, he called in a colleague and they decided that Mom has shingles. Then he turns to me and says, "I hope you've had chicken pox because this is highly contagious..." oh sh___!!! I don't remember having it but did have measles 3 times, we're hoping that one of those was chicken pox and that I have immunity.<br />
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Poor mom has only been out of isolation a week and now she'll go back in. And, I can't go see her until I get the results of a blood test to determine if I'm immune or not. She was looking forward to my visit and I planned to take her cousin there for a visit with pie and coffee - that's all on hold now. As for me, I need to stay optimistic and pray the virus away because chicken pox in adults can get bad. <br />
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<br />
I think the ER missed the shingles diagnosis because it doesn't normally show up on the face and scalp. Mom's had it in the past on her back around her waist. The doctor said they look for "geometry" or lines where the pox appear - it has definite boundaries. In this case, the pox are quite concentrated on the upper left side of her head. Picture this; the "bottom" boundary is an imaginary a line from under her nose horizontally toward her ear and around the back of her head. The other "line" goes from her left nostril up straight over her forehead and over the top to the nape of her neck. It was just all swollen and painful looking. She's on a pain patch to help with her arthritis so the infection doesn't hurt as bad as it might otherwise. So - now we're both in a sort of isolation - she must stay in her room and I have to stay away from others and her - for now anyway. Damn.<br />
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<span style="color: #fff2cc; font-size: xx-small;">Shingles on the face, shingles around the eye, shingles on the head, scabby rash red swelling swollen eye face</span><br />
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</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-31467536898728685022011-10-01T11:46:00.000-07:002011-10-01T11:46:02.829-07:00MRSA puts mom "in exile" and it demonstrates holes in the rules<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">Confined to a wheelchair now, my mom has begun to get stasis ulcers on her lower legs. These are oozing gross wounds that open up on her chins. Apparently these are ulcers are common for people who have limited motion in their lower extremities (legs and feet). My niece, the 25-year career nurse - tells me its caused by poor circulation of blood and lymph fluids. The skin tissue in the legs doesn't get nutrients from blood flow so it begins to breakdown. Mom insists it only hurts when they apply salve but the tissue around these sores is often so swollen, red and angry looking that I can't imagine it doesn't hurt. Since June, I've been concerned about a large on her left calf that would not heal. Over the past 4 months it's improved then become worse and improved again several times. In early September a nurse called to tell me it tested positive for MRSA and Mom would be put into "isolation" to prevent infecting anyone else. <br />
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I was very upset because she had the wound for so long and they hadn't tested it for any virus or bacteria. I asked if there was more they could do - different medication, vitamins, better diet...I got no answers. They watched the wound closely for changes that indicate MRSA and finally in early September they "swabbed" the wound and ran tests. The nurse told me they look for discharges of pus and blood and a particular odor that indicates staph might be infecting a wound; once they see it, they test for staph infection. <br />
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After the positive MRSA test, they had to put mom into isolation - no room mate, visitors must wear gowns and gloves, a bed side commode but that as long as the wound was covered, she could go to meals in the dining room. I felt good that she'd have someone to visit with now and then. I also asked if she could have a larger TV until her isolation was over. I got no answers even after leaving several messages. <br />
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When I was able to visit 2 weeks later, I learned that Mom had NOT been to meals and that she'd been stuck in her room, alone most of the time. "...being in exile, like Napoleon", she said. I was so angry. If I'd know she was NOT going to meals, I'd have sent flowers every few days. I'd have written letters - something, ANYTHING to help lift her spirits. I tried to talk with the nurse on duty and she gave me a different story - that Mom HAD been to meals, that visitors didn't need gowns or gloves to protect them from infection.. Two hours later aides brought meals to mom in her room but before entering they put on paper gowns and gloves!.. I asked about the inconsistency but could not get a straight answer from the aides or nurses. Now I have to call and complain because of these inconsistencies. It makes me so frustrated! How hard is it to train people to know what to do? Infections like MRSA, colds, stomach bugs - are pervasive once they get a hold in nursing homes so all of their staff need to treat the patients the SAME way. Families and visitors need to follow consistent - and best practice - methods to prevent spreading or getting illnesses. I want to know that the staff does the RIGHT things to keep things from spreading - to my own mom, to themselves, visitors or other patients. <br />
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I hate that Mom had to be "isolated". All of her clothing, towels, bedding and dining plates and utensils had to be bagged in special red biohazard bags before leaving her room. The nurse tells me that they tried to "enrich" her activities with extra visits from their staff but it's not the same as family or friends. Given the inconsistent messages from their own nurses and other crap that goes on, I doubt they do much "enrichment". My family was quite freaked out and didn't want to visit; they feared mom was exhaling the virus and that they'd become infected. I went anyway because I read enough about MRSA to understand that it was most likely caught quickly and thus a local infection - meaning it was only in the tissue on her leg and not spread throughout her system. I also spoke with the nurse before my visit and learned that the sores on her legs were nearly completely healed. I didn't intend to touch her wounds, bandages or the like so I knew that chances of being infected were very, very small. Visiting my Mom after she'd been isolated for two weeks out weighed my concerns about getting any virus. <br />
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<br />
This is the definition of MRSA from wikipedia: <br />
<b>Methicillin-resistant <i>Staphylococcus aureus</i></b> (<b>MRSA</b>) is a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bacteria" title="Bacteria">bacterium</a> responsible for several difficult-to-treat <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infection" title="Infection">infections</a> in humans. It may also be called <b>multidrug-resistant <i>Staphylococcus aureus</i></b> or <b>oxacillin-resistant <i>Staphylococcus aureus</i></b> (ORSA).<br />
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More on stasis or venous ulcers at wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Venous_ulcer<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="background-color: #fff2cc;">How could my mom get MRSA? Mom has MRSA, can i get it? Dad has MRSA can I get it. What should nursing homes do about MRSA?</span></span></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-58482648602174446222011-07-30T12:01:00.000-07:002011-07-30T12:01:24.013-07:00Momma Mia made me cry over my own Mom.This blog is supposed to be about my mom but often it ends up being about my feelings - I suppose that's natural since I'm writing from my personal point of view and there is so much anxiety and guilt associated with sick and aging parents that it would not be right to exclude that from my various topics. I've not added any posts since Mom's latest health scare because I've had little to share that's positive. I've not wanted to whine, moan or complain. This morning though, I was overwhelmed by such a deep sense of sadness that I must write about it. <br />
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For several years now I've wished so badly that I had the money to buy a big house, hire a staff of 4 to help with Mom and then just live, doing all the things that I enjoy and finding some way to make her a part of it - making jam, gardening, sewing - just those day to day things. My mom is still curious - she wants to watch CNN and PBS, the history channel or animal planet but the set up in her room at the nursing home doesn't permit it. I want to have her at home where she can have HER favorite chair, HER large screen TV, HER 4 walls around her - but she needs so much assistance, I just can't do it all. I know she's not as happy as she could be; she longs for company from her family but my brothers never see her. The saving grace is a neighbor who's tried to see her at least once a week and a cousin who's gone by now and then over the summer. <br />
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My sobbing melt down came as I was reading news and watching Momma Mia on TV. Meryl Streep was singing about loosing her daughter to adulthood. The lyrics have her remembering sitting at the kitchen table with her little girl, spending simple times just eating or doing the day to day things. It just hit me so hard to think of my mom enjoying those times with me, then watching me get my first car and taking off, leaving her in the house alone. I remember leaving for college; she and my dad weren't getting along and I was in such a hurry to escape it. I didn't think about her and that she might feel abandoned with no ability to drive herself (she had a stroke during my delivery which left her partially blind and with epilepsy), no job, no money of her own - she must have felt awful but that didn't occur to me. I was happy to get the hell out of there, to be free to have fun. I left and didn't look back to see her sad face. To be fair to myself - I did visit often and called her every Sunday but it's not the same.<br />
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Now she's in the same boat - she's stuck there and I end up driving away. At least I always come back! She has people around her but it's a string of different people and she can't do the things she enjoys. All she wants is to sit in her comfy chair with a remote to a TV she can easily see. That's not too much to ask and I can't make it happen. She's never asked for much of anyone yet she's done a lot for others just by creating a home where we could all feel welcome and supported. I hate that I can't do that for her. Even taking her to her little house isn't possible - it needs so much repair and would require total remodeling to accommodate her wheelchair. <br />
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As for me, I also miss my mom but the "mom" I miss doesn't show herself often due to pain, hearing loss and naps. She has a good sense of humor; she's smart and witty. She's done so many things and remembers how to do most of it - she's a wealth of information!! She's also wise - which I miss, she always has good advice for me, though now I don't ask much because I don't want her to worry. There's just so much I want to know about her, about my dad, my grandparents- I want so much for her to look forward to a good meal, to taste freshly picked berries, ice cream when she wants it not when it's on the menu; to sleeping in and eating when she wants not on someone else's schedule... to sit hear her roses and enjoy their color and scent in the warm sunshine.. this is how growing old should be not in some institution where she's a "client" not a person. <br />
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Ah well, my crying won't help her and now I've got a head ache... all I can do is try to get there to love her and make her feel as loved as possible. If anyone out there reads this - do me a favor - go love on your family. Young or old, listen to their stories and ask them about the most important things in their life. Talk WITH them and Listen; share things WITH them and you'll feel better about everything!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-4793877968765607612011-05-20T23:48:00.000-07:002011-05-20T23:48:30.410-07:00Got an inheritance? Don't do THIS...A friend revealed to me that her mother, age 62, is in dire financial shape two years after the death of her successful husband. I'm shocked, I never thought it would happen. The problem is that Mom didn't have a plan to manage her money and the kids didn't want to hurt her feelings and butt in when they realized she was depressed and spending too much. The reality is hard to understand - Mom went through $600,000 in a little over two years. More than a half a million dollars in 24 months. It's a shame because, if managed well, Mom could have lived comfortably for the rest of her life. Now Mom's renting an apartment and selling off her antiques. Her large home is for sale. She's living on a meager social security payment - her husband died before he began to collect social security so she's collecting earlier than she might if he'd lived. It's nice that the funds are available but the payments would be more if she'd waited to collect later in life. <br />
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<div style="color: #0b5394;"><b>Here's WHAT to do if you get an inheritance:<span style="color: #444444;"> </span></b><span style="color: #444444;"> I write this for people over 55-60 - those who are faced with living on a limited income. The idea is to create stable living conditions, minimizing costs overall so that living on a limited income is manageable and doesn't cause hardship. </span><b><br />
</b></div><b>Seek advice from a banker or financial professional. </b>There are plenty of funds where you can put money that will generate interest or receive dividends even if the annual payoff is low. It might not be as much as riskier investments but it's steady and you won't risk the principle or bulk of your money. Think if it as a source of long-term annual income: Let it sit in a special fund and at the end of a year 1 , you could have 20-30-40,000 to spend during year 2 while your nest egg sits and grows money for year 3. (I've discussed this scenario with representatives from Edward Jones Financial, but any reputable financial firm should be able to help.)<br />
<b>Seek to make the money LAST </b>- don't go on spending sprees. Don't do a bunch of cosmetic work on your home to make it look prettier. <br />
<b>Seek emotional counsel if you have the urge to buy and buy and buy </b>- this is a sign of depression. I believe we get a little spike in endorphines when we spend money - this feels good so we do it a lot when we're depressed. This is RISKY - try to resist the urge to shop; if possible avoid the mall, don't watch shopping channels and don't splurge. <br />
<b>Consider setting up a trust or annuity for yourself</b> - this will ensure that someone doles the money to you over time.<br />
<b>Invest in things that will make your life more stable</b>: Pay off credit cards then CUT THEM UP. Pay off your house and make repairs that will ensure it's in good shape for the long term. Note that I said REPAIRS not <i>impro</i><i>vements </i>- only make improvements if it make it safer or will increase the selling price<b>. </b><br />
<b>Buy or pay off a quality car that will last you a good long time</b> - consider a brand that will require minimal repairs and will last miles and miles. Be sure it's a size that you'll be SAFE driving - think automatic transmission, 4 door-sedan not oversized SUV with 4-on the floor!<br />
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<div style="color: #0b5394;"><b>What NOT to do:</b></div><b>Don't go on vacation after vacation without consulting a financial adviser</b>. Understand if you can AFFORD a lot of travel. Spend it on travel ONLY after you've made arrangements for the long term. <br />
<b>DO NOT LOAN money to kids, grand kids or friends</b>. Often people have every intention of paying money back but when all you have is one big chuck of money, it's value is in the potential it has to earn more. Don't whittle it away a few thousand dollar loans at a time; before you know it, the funds are gone and collecting those loans is probably impossible. <br />
<b>Don't make a lot of cosmetic changes to your home</b> - unless you'll sell soon and you are SURE it will pay off big! Example: if your living room is painted dark brown, it might be wise to paint the walls a neutral color before showing it for sale - the brown color will make the room look smaller and won't suit everyone's tastes. <br />
<b> Don't buy a lot of flashy gifts</b>. you don't have to buy off family or friends, they should WANT your long term financial security not a bunch of "stuff". <br />
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<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">What should I do with dads life insurance? what should I do with my inheritance? </span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-3251116720815563372011-04-24T23:27:00.000-07:002013-02-10T10:39:45.871-08:00Great site for special needs clothes!<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Find clothes is so hard for mom now that she's weakened due to arthritis. I just came across this site when I searched for clothes for a "dowagers hump"... Though some of the things are spendy, I think there are some good options here - especially for easy-on slippers. I will also look at the clothes in depth to see if I can modify any of mom's existing cloths for easier dressing (think off and on) or just to look better in general.<br />
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The name of the online store is Silverts, found here: http://www.silverts.com/default.cfm?adv=AAA<br />
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #fff2cc;">Clothing for the elderly, clothing for dowagers hump, clothes for dowagers hump, shoes for old feet, shoes for arthretic arthritic feet, shoes for hammer toes</span></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-17434031653457846822011-04-24T23:09:00.000-07:002011-04-24T23:09:59.625-07:00Grandpa came through - sort of...Update on my last post of March 30 - my friend grandfather WAS as sharp as we expected. "G" went to his bank to advise them of this death and look for outstanding checks. She learned she was his one and only beneficiary on several accounts. She has also been in touch with insurance carriers who advise her that she is the beneficiary of those accounts as well - it's enough to put her two youngest kids through college and start a nice retirement nest egg for herself. <br />
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The two things Grandpa did not take care of - the title to his trailer home and brand new Lincoln - will require that she go through probate in the state where he lived and died. The attorney tells her that it will, by law, go to her father but she's okay with that. She was so appreciative for the savings and insurance that she will not argue over these assets. In the end, she almost feels sorry for her father because of what he missed not knowing his dad. She's taking the high road and I'm proud of her. I'm sure her Grandpa is too.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6810068516932158779.post-46173593513509411642011-03-20T01:25:00.000-07:002011-03-20T01:25:48.700-07:00A friends kids miss out if she can't find grandpa's willThis weekend I've spent all my time with a friend whos' grandfather just passed away. She tried hard to quickly travel across the country to be with him in my town before he passed away. Unfortunately, she was 3 hours too late. She's never dealt with the business side of a death. There are all sorts of things one must do - find wills, life insurance policies, savings or checking accounts, conduce probate, bills and funeral expenses. It's detailed and things must be done legally..<br />
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My friend, we'll call her "G", was close to her grandfather and held his Power of Attorney for medical care. For years he told her that he wanted her to have all of his savings and that it should be used to put her two youngest kids through college. G never asked about wills, or amounts, or locations because she didn't want to be rude. She respected and loved Grandpa and didn't keep in touch with him because of this potential inheritance. Her grandfather was really sharp until the end and had a good head for business; she assumed he'd taken care of it all.... <br />
<br />
So today, only 8 hours after Grandpa passed, I helped her search his home for important papers and we found one document - a bank statement from January 2011. Her son searched his computer for anything that might give a clue to his income and debts - life insurance, check register, bills, car titles, deeds, - anything that might help her understand Grandpa's financial status. Nothing. Just one bank statement with checking and savings and a small charge card balance. Damn.......I thought about all the legalities necessary..... "Double Damn." Then an "oh shit!!" moment......<br />
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We sat down for a break and it dawned on me - if Grandpa did nothing, even though he told G what he wanted to happen,...... if Grandpa put nothing in writing. If Grandpa didn't NOTARIZE anything, then, ... "oh shit!!" ... everything would go to his son. EVERYTHING. Everything would go to a drug addicted, low-life that had not seen his father for more than 20 years. Everything would go to a guy who did nothing but cause his parents deep hurt and take advantage of them. I didn't want to say it out loud but I could not let G begin to conduct this business without that knowledge. <br />
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I called some friends and got a reference for an attorney. She called the bank to understand what they needed to set up an checking account for Grandpa's estate. She can't do anything with out two things: 1. Death Certificates and 2. being named by the county as the Personal Representative for his estate. Damn... <br />
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The bottom line is that Grandpa died without a will and this WILL cause a huge mess. . Unless he was astute enough to name her as beneficiary on his accounts and his life insurance then the law of the state prevails. So now, she'll become his "personal representative" and start the probate process. <br />
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The lesson for anyone else is clear: write shit down!!! Notarize it! Have it recorded at the county clerk/assessor!!! Make a will! Fill out the beneficiary forms for life insurance, savings, checking, retirement accounts. Don't wait, it could cost your loved ones and your wishes might not be honored. <br />
<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Does grand pa grandma need a will? Grandpa died without a will. Why should i do a will. </span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02902093143038540370noreply@blogger.com1