Shoes and clothes actually MADE for mom!!

Finding clothes and shoes - especially SHOES!! - for Mom has become really difficult.   Often I have to run to several different places getting one item at each store.  I finally found a catalog called National, that has all kinds of comfy and practical shoes for Mom as well as clothes she finds attractive.  She has arthritis in both feet but one is worse and  made wider by bunions. To fit her well, I'd have to buy two different size shoes.  National has shoes with velcro closures that also open really wide to get off and on easily.   This enables her to get her own shoes off and on - THAT makes her feel more capable -  anything that makes her feel capable is terrific!

I find their clothing rather conservative but they have a variety of suits, house coats and easy-dressing tops and pants. National also has stuff that I might consider "old lady" products - old fashioned girdles, plain white garter belts, large size bras that close in front, sleeping caps and shawls with pockets!  While I wouldn't wear these (not yet), I can see where these would be helpful to my mom or to women with her limitations.
Where can in find tops for dowagers hump? shoes for arthritic feet, shoes for wide feet, easy on shoes,  easy off shoes. clothes for old ladies, house coats for old ladies, robes for old ladies

Move from ALF complicated even with lots of calls...

Moving Mom into assisted living took a lot of work, I don't know why I expected her moving out to be less stressful.   All-in-all, it went fine but I still had a few frustrating moments.   Given that I had to coordinate things from a distance, things went pretty well.   People WANT to be helpful in situations like this and, since it's a small town and I know people, no one tried to take advantage. 

My sister in law was really good about going to Mom's apartment for clothes, shoes and a few personal items that Mom would need immediately.  She also packed up a few precious things like photo albums, pictures and an antique quilt and put them in storage at Mom's.  All of us, Mom especially, would feel bad if these were not well cared for.  I contacted a moving company to pack up the simple furniture,  appliances and other belongings. They had it packed in an hour and spent another hour loading up and storing it in the garage at Mom's house.  It was easy enough, until the ALF called about a table left in the apartment.  

The table became a bone of contention; the ALF Executive Director called to tell me the movers left it.  The movers said the Marketing Director told them it was ALF property.  The Marketing Director told me my brothers said it was ALF property.  My brothers told me the ALF maintenance man said it was ALF property...   That's 5 calls already all over a cheapie table!  I probably spent more in long-distance calls than I did on the table.    Long story short, I told the ALF Director that I had receipts for it and that someone would get it; she ended up having their van driver take it to Moms - another advantage of a small town -it was not far nor time consuming to do this.    But!  the frustration it caused was maddening - people don't like to be given in accurate information and everyone felt bad over one piece of furniture.  

I think things like this could be avoided if the ALF had better move-in and move-out procedures.    They are very eager to promise a lot of help and organization before move-in but their follow through seems lame.  It's not because they are bad people, it's simply because they have too many residents and not enough staff.   Looking back, I would keep a detailed inventory of everything moved into Mom's apartment, anything I added over time and anything broken or removed and WHO removed it.  (As I write this I'm wondering about pictures on the walls, towels - anything I purchased that my family didn't know about; they might have told the ALF it's not Mom's because they didn't know or didn't recognize it.)  I would provide a copy of this inventory to the ALF for Mom's file, to family members and to the movers.  I'd also try to keep it updated when family members bring items or take things home.  This is an easy way to ensure that all of Mom's belongings don't get left and the ALF staff doesn't get blamed for something outside their control.

Too much OJ leads to crisis and hospitalization

A friends father recently had a health scare due to OJ - yes, orange juice, that healthly bright beverage that Florida citrus growers push into trees and onto grocery shelves.   The problem comes when the OJ is fortified with vitamins and minerals - it can be too much for a body to handle, especially an elderly body that already contains medications and supplements. 

Here's what happened:  My friends father, age 84, had heart surgery about three months ago and, after a three of weeks in a rehab facility, was well enough to be home alone.  He was warned about eating right and getting enough vegetables so he thought some fruit or vegetable juice would be good for him;  he'd get fluids and the benefit of the fruit (fiber, vitamins, minerals, etc.).  He drank one 16 to 20 ounce glass of OJ a day.   After 5 weeks he had trouble breathing, was retaining fluid and his potassium levels were sky  high.   His orange juice of choice was fortified with calcium, multiple vitamins and minerals plus added sugar, preservatives and flavors.  With his existing prescriptions and supplements more than a few ounces of this OJ was the LAST thing he should have.  Eating the oranges would be fine with the natural benefits.  

After more than 5 days in the hospital, he was fine and back to normal.  To help him understand what and how to eat better, his daughter in law requested a meeting with a dietician to identify drug-food interactions and what might be helpful or beneficial for him.   The lesson learned are:

• when it comes to supplements - in food or in pill form, we really need to be mindful of interactions
• after surgery and before your loved one goes home, ask to speak with a dietician about drug interactions, special foods to avoid or add to a diet, be there when they talk with your loved one and try to get the doctor to join in too
  
• Ask the dietician to WRITE IT ALL DOWN - this might be hard but tell them ahead of the appointment that your elder needs written instructions, copy these and send a copy to their regular physician
• Create a food and prescription schedule for your loved one.  This doesn't have to be a minute by minute play by play of their day and you can include a variety of things they can or should have for each meal.   
• Help your loved one shop and, if they select "banned" things, remind them of the interaction and possible consequences; if possible, get them to put it back.
  

Making a safe home for mom

As my mom gets more frail due to osteoporosis and arthritis I've tried to make her home safer to reduce the chance of falls, bumps, bruises and minor mishaps. Her situation is complicated because she uses a walker due to a bum knee, is blind in one eye and has become gradually weaker. As she's aged we make adjustments to enable her to continue to do things for herself; often these are not attractive alterations but it's more important to make her home safe. We hope to help maintain her independence, dignity, self-worth and to help her feel that an aging body is not robbing her of self-control.

These ideas below are in NO WAY meant to be professional full-proof measures but are just a few things we did at my mothers home as adjustments to help her. To avoid getting sued, I suppose I MUST say: Try these things at your own risk. Consider your own knowledge on use of tools and hardware before trying to do it yourself. Don't attempt something you are not familiar with; it's better to pay a professional to do it right the first time rather than have incur more expense and disruption later.

Here is a list of things that my family and I have done around Mom's home:

Remove area rugs. This prevents tripping over folds and eliminates one more thing to clean. Even if the rug remains flat, it can be a trip hazard. Old folks often can't lift their legs high when they walk, they tend to shuffle. That small 1/2" rise is enough to catch a toe or heel and cause a fall.

Be sure cabinet doors close: Open cabinet doors are right at eye or knee level, if they hang open it's one more thing to bump into. Sharp or pointed edges can crack or break a bone if someone falls against it. We installed magnetized gizmo's to hold the doors closed. As mom got older the magnets were too strong and she didn't have strength to open the door so I applied tape to the magnets to weaken their hold; it was enough to keep the door closed yet Mom could still pull it open.

Stabilize appliances: Mom once lost her balance as she pulled the fridge door open; the whole thing began to tip over. Luckily my nephew was there and big enough to catch her with one arm and push the fridge back with the other (he's a 6'5" hunk with strong arms and back). We solved this problem by nailing a 2X4 board across the front of the fridge; my husband drove very long screws through the board and into the toe kick of the cabinets. We painted it to match the cabinetry so it's not ugly. Since many refridgerators are deeper than cabinets this might not work in all situations. Other options we considered were a metal bracket that attached to the side or top of the fridge and then to a stud in the wall or even a strap around the top of the fridge and attached to the wall. The 2X4 was the "least ugly" of these solutions and most acceptable to Mom.

Check other appliances for stability: Wiggle other appliances to judge their stability. Consider the stove or dryer - anything where your elder could hang one, lean or fall on the open door. Front loading washers are not as big a worry since their weight is mainly on the bottom of the appliance which makes it more stable.

Get appliances on the living level: Mom's washer / dryer was in her basement and the stairs were a huge worry for us especially if she tried to carry anything. We converted a linen closet to a laundry closet and moved these up stairs.

Secure other furniture to walls with brackets: cook cases, china cupboards, curio cabinets - anything that might be top heavy and fall over when used as a hand hold. All it takes is a small "L" bracket and a couple of screws. Or, move heavy objects from upper shelves to the bottom shelves.

Get a taller toilet: Often our elders have a hard time getting up from low seats. Given that, the bathroom poses a huge problem. They are alone, exposed and it's often in tight quarters. A taller toilet enables them to more easily raise up from a seated position, installation of a grab bar to pull with their arms can help even further. Other options like a "riser" - a plastic toilet shaped device that fits over the toilet - are possible but these are hard to clean which creates another set of issues. Don't get a toilet that's too tall or they can't get on it in the first place.

Bathroom hand holds: Install grab bars near the toilet, shower or tub. If you notice that they hold on to a towel rod to walk across the bathroom, ensure that it is securely fastened to a stud in the wall; don't trust the little 1/2" screws that come with the towel bars. After we noticed that the towel bar was loose, we replaced it with a real grab bar; it does double duty for towels and to steady Mom.

That's it for now - I have many other tricks and I'll share those as time permits.