Colon get's the all clear.... whew...

A colonoscopy at 90 is a HUGE deal and Mom had one two weeks ago.  It wasn an ordeal for her -  "cleansing" liquids all evening after a day of clear liquids and then more "cleansing" at the hospital before the procedure.  Long story short - she had 2  benign polyps and everything else looks good.

The original cleansing was awful; the stuff is basically soap or some kind of soapy tasting salt solution.  It really goes through the human body fast so she had to "go" within an hour and go again and again.  I sat with her in the evening while she drank all the stuff down and ensured that the aides responded quickly to her potty calls.   I actually helped get her up and down a couple of times - better that than have a mess and ruin her dignity.   When we were sure her colon was good and empty, she went to sleep and I went home for the night.  I met her the next morning at the hospital for the in-patient procedure.   She drank down more of the nasty goop and sat on the commode some more. She was exhausted and cold.  The nurses at the hospital brought warm blankets and we wrapped her up as she sat there.   After a couple of hours, she laid down and slept for a while.   She was up and down a couple more times before the procedure.  The colonoscopy itself took 30-40 minutes then she was in recovery for clean up and dressing.   She was starved so I fed her two small servings of custard and called the nursing home to hold some supper for her. 

I followed the van back and helped her eat and get into bed.   She was fast asleep by 8pm.   Given the "cleansing the evening before, it was a long day - 9am to 430pm - but she was a trooper. The aides and nurses were so very kind and helpful.  I am sure they'd have been just as professional and caring even if I'd not been there.    It was a lot to put mom through - 1 day of little food, 1 day with NO food, hours of diarrhea and a sore behind - but it's better to know if something is wrong.    I was worried about dehydration and low blood sugar which can cause a seizure given her epilepsy.  They gave her some IV fluids before the procedure and some dilantin to prevent an episode.   I don't think they'd have given it much thought without my questioning it ahead of time.   I just wanted to prevent a seizure when she was so vulnerable and it worked out fine.

Whew!
Should my elderly mom have a colonoscopy?  should my elderly dad have a colonoscopy?  am i too old for a colonoscopy?  How old is too old for a colonoscopy?

Family wedding gives me a guilt sandwich

We attended a beautiful family wedding over the weekend and it left me feeling awful.   Mom would have loved to attend but it just was not possible - getting her around in the wheel chair would have been a terrible pain for us all.    I feel guilt because I didn't do all i could to take her to most likely the last wedding she'll ever attend.  I feel a sense of relief NOT to have taken her so I could relax and enjoy visiting, my own supper and dancing without worrying about her needs and comfort.  Then, I feel guilty for feeling a sense of relief!   Guilt - relief - guilt...  my guilt sandwich...

We would have been able to get her around the venue but it would be difficult, cumbersome and meant lifting her wheelchair up and down stairs.  There were also no grab bars in the restroom which mean I'd have to do all the lifting to get her off and on the commode - my back can't take that much any longer.   We talked about it weeks in advance and she said she'd go ONLY if it was easy to wheel her to the bathroom.  I toured the venue a week in advance and it was, clearly NOT set up for any sort of handicap. She let me off the hook and insisted on staying home. 

Even though we had this discussion I feel terrible guilt and I know there is no way I'll feel better. I must accept that and let it go but that's really harder said than done.   I speak with so many friends who go through the same thing so I feel better knowing I'm not alone.   I have to be content that I take her out for rides, lunch and we'll soon have her 90th birthday party - it will have to be enough.

New sink and vanity might help prevent falls...

Today I noticed that my brother is leaning on a small bathroom sink for support and I worry it's risky.  He's probably 190-210 pounds and the sink is a 40's hunk of heavy vintage porcelain that's attached to the wall with a couple of large screws.   Mom's house is pretty old and the sink wavers just a little bit when I attempt to wiggle it. Given my brothers health issues, he'll likely lean on it often and with a lot of weight.  So - it's time to replace the sink with a vanity and lighter porcelain that will support his weight.

So - we'll add that to our "safety list":  remove old sinks and those with pedestals that might topple when leaned on.  The idea of a heavy porcelain sink falling onto my brother or my elderly Mom is just horrific!

how can i make the bathroom safer for mom? safer bathrooms for elderly 

Taking Mom for a ride and screaming inside

Getting Mom out has become a character building experience for me.   I try to take Mom for a ride at least once a week when I visit her home town.  I make a point to take her some place where she has good memories and ensure we have a good treat along the way.   The past few months she seems to have trouble remembering where we're going and continually asks where we are all along the way.  She marvels at things as though it's all new to her.  When I tell her where we are she replies, "Really??!!  I'd never have known; it's so different."  I'm left wondering, "Different from WHAT?"  

I suppose she is beginning to remember the familiar streets of town as it was decades ago - really, she's FORGETTING many things about her town and region.  She remembers buildings and landmarks that are long gone.  As we drive she gives me a running commentary about how staying in her "coop" makes her forget and how much things have changed.   It's a constant thing when we go out now and it's making me nuts!!   However, I NEVER let her know it's making me crazy.  Though I'm screaming inside, "YOU SAID THAT ALREADY!...and you said it last time and the time before that, can't you just accept it??!!!!"   I don't say a word to her about it.   I speak slowly and deliberately so that I don't have so much as a negative tone in my voice.   I calmly explain the changes she sees and I make excuses to make her feel better. 

She realizes that things have changed a lot and this makes her wonder about her own memory. She says, "Have I really forgotten that much?" I try to make her feel better with excuses about how quickly things change these days; how little she gets out and how much she has to remember after all of her 90 years.   I remind her that she remembers MORE than many, many people - often ME included.  Then I try to change the subject and ask her about something that I know will bring back good memories.  Most of the time, she tells me some story that I've heard by this time but now and then she reveals a gem - something that she and dad did together or some funny story about family or friends.   The new stories alone are worth sitting through a lot of rambling.     I'll continue to take her for drives and listen to the stories - old and new - because it's good for both of us.  I've not been the most patient person throughout my life so this is good practice I suppose but mainly it's good for my Mom. She needs the change of scenery and to relive the good memories we find along the route.