Thursday, September 3, 2009

Patience is THE most important word...

The past two years have forced me to become much more patient. I am ashamed to admit that it seems my patience with my mother was much shorter than with anyone else but I’m getting better with each visit. We’ve talked about it often and Mom – lovingly and patiently – says “Yes, I know. I was the same way with my own mother. We don’t want to break out of that parent-child role. We want our mothers to always be strong and have the answers. It makes the reversal of roles very hard.”

When dealing with our elders patience is key and the reason is simple – they are slow. They can't move fast due to arthritis and brittle bones. They walk slow, talk slow, move slow. They think more slowly so their ability to reason is slower. They can’t hear or see as well so it takes longer to read, to understand, to put all the details together to understand a situation or to make a decision. They even push buttons on the TV remote more slowly. It’s frustrating but they have no other option unless they just want to stop living altogether. The ONLY choice we have is patience. I hope I can see things with compassion so that I don’t have to force myself to be patient. I want to be understanding and just be thankful that Mom’s still able to do some things at all no matter how fast she does them.