Monday, December 26, 2011

Be thankful there are people who don't like you...

Today, the day after a weekend of time spent with family and loving friends, I am left thankful that there are people who do not like me. In fact, the more they dis-like me the better.   The reason is simple: these people are so lacking in moral fiber and have such little thought for the feelings of others, that, if they did like me, I would wonder just what kind of low-life jerk I had become.

My cousin called this morning upset over mail he received from the attorney for his evil step mother.   Getting it brought back decades of hurtful memories caused in large part by her selfish behavior.  From the time he was 10, any interaction with her and most interaction with his father left him disappointed, feeling abandoned and cast aside.  The evil witch died months ago and her attorney and son, the Executor of her estate, mailed her will just in time for it to arrive on Christmas Eve.  Given the history of this woman, it is a fitting action for someone who was so maliciously and deliberately mean throughout her life. It seems that the evil things she did were lessons well learned by at least one of her children - the other wanted nothing to do with her..  I can understand why.

The "inheritance" she left to my cousin was the small sum of $1.  I am certain she did it so that there could be no way to contest the estate of her husband, father to my cousins, thus leaving everything to her sons.  It's not like there is a lot of cash property to be had and my cousins would not want it anyway because it means hashing up to much pain and disappointment.  But, to leave them with $1 and then send a letter at this time of year is just mean-spirited.   My cousins have had nothing to do with her for nearly 15 years, why is it necessary to send anything now?

Years ago in the 60's, this woman decided that she would marry my uncle - never mind that he was already married with one grown daughter and 2 sons at home.  She pursued him in a town small enough that most people knew everyone else's business and he was happy to have the additional female attention. Neither of them cared that the eldest son was ridiculed by friends on the main street of town because his father was seen out with another woman. Neither of them cared that his youngest sat and sat and sat waiting the driveway of the other woman's house while my uncle visited her and her sons inside.  There were too many times to count that my uncle made a promise to my cousins only to take it back because his girl friend and then wife made other plans.   Most times, she was there to hear the plans and readily agreed yet when the time came, my uncle would cancel at the last minute in deference to her.  She knew my cousins would be hurt and disappointed yet she made other plans anyway.  After seeing her do this over and over, one can only conclude that she knew EXACTLY what she was doing.  We are left to wonder why - there was no threat to her or her relationship with my uncle.  His first wife was to tired and busy working to put up a fight.  My uncle's siblings were too darned polite to cause a rift between them so why go out of her way to hurt his kids?

Through it all my cousins tried to put their hurt aside and treat their father with respect and kindness. When he died, none of them got a call until after he passed even though he was hospitalized for days.  They were denied the gift of simply saying good bye.  None of them wanted anything to memorialize him except for small sentimental things - a fishing pole perhaps - yet she responded with mean cursing, name calling and restraining orders.  She was always good at playing the victim yet she was the ultimate culprit in hurt and meanness.  I've known people who called her, "that poor Pat, the single mother with the sick son."  There was nothing poor about her.  She wanted someone to take care of her and did it at the terrible expense of 4 others.   I can't let my uncle off the hook - he is just as culpable but I do not  believe he was as capable of such malicious planning as she.  His are sins of insecurity and thoughtlessness.  He didn't realize how much he was loved and needed by his family.  His 2nd wife KNEW how much the first family loved and needed him. Taking him away from them made her feel powerful and happy.  God forbid someone like that come into my life - or anyone else's for that matter.

It makes me sad to write something like this at a time of the year when we should be appreciative of family but it also sets me free.  I am thankful that my family and friendships are genuine and sincere!