This evening I finally heard the attitude in Mom that I've been praying for. Mom told me that she had a good day and that she enjoyed the young people that worked at the ALF! Today, for the first time in 7 months, I left her room without feeling guilty. I will leave town after a weeks' visit without feeling guilty. I know she'll still have some bad days and bad moods but for now I am so VERY, VERY relieved. It's an enormous weight off my mind.
Her good day started with good conversation. Her tablemate's son visited during breakfast and they had quite a talk about the railroad and the men - my uncles - who worked there. She also had some fun with the other women in her dining room; they schemed about practical jokes that they could play on other residents and the aides. It's refreshing that her spirited side can still come through.
Mom seemed to sense that I needed to hear something positive from her. She's missed having people go in and out of her home; it's been a long time since lively young people ran in and out. She enjoyed the aides that came in to plop down on her bed for a few minutes to take a breather and check on her. She likes that they feel comfortable enough to stretch out on her bed or sit for a coffee or soda with her. I'm liking that she's feeling at home and so comfortable with the other residents and staff.
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Hi Lynn!! I can really relate to all you are going through. Even tho I have a younger brother that is close, I am the 1 family member who has - gladly - taken on the responsiblity of being with me mom thru it all.
ReplyDeleteI am a 55 yr old daughter of one of the most remarkable women I have ever known - my 76 yr old mother!! Due to life circumstances, I have no family of my own. My 2 brothers have families (wife & kids) but even tho one just lives down the street - I am pretty much it when it comes to making my beloved mother's well being a major priority in my life.....I, definitely, have feeling about that! However, as mom says.....we will take care of ourselves without their help, damnit!!
Currently I am working 30 hrs weekly and living with mom. She has COPD and takes several breathing treatments daily. Right this moment she is very ill and on anti-biotics in an effort to stop her lungs from filling with fluid. She gets this a couple of times a year so it is nothing new.
I will be starting a new project at work & getting the much needed 40 hrs weekly. But, I would quit my job in a moment if it becomes needed to care for my mom....and the 2 of us would live - somehow - on her limited monthly SS. I will do what I must to see that she can live the remainer of her life at home where she wants to be....
Unfortunately, I believe, I have 2 very selfish brohters who seem to have forgotten the mother who lived her life so selflessly to raise us all. 1 lives very far away and is not speaking to her because she got tired of him calling her when he was drinking...crying about how much he wanted to help provided for her....but never did.
The other?? Lives down the damn street and just does not want to deal with what having an aging parent entails. I can get soooo angry about it all. But, being the wonderful woman she is, mom says to hell with them all - we will survive!!
I love her dearly and understand exactly what you are dealing with. Take care, God bless you, and know there are others take can offer support.
champagne.faith@gmail(DOT)com