Saturday, December 18, 2010

Sharing Christmas with Mom - what she really wants is time - my time now and her old times too..

The older Mom gets the harder it is to find meaningful gifts for her.  She is very content with so little and I usually buy things as I realize she needs them - new sweat pants, a hoodie, socks, etc.... I'm always stumped at Christmas time - it doesn't help that she insists she needs NOTHING and won't give me any ideas.  I did pick up on a couple of little things that might make her happy - her old large faced watch from home and a magnifying glass.   She always says she can't find the wall clocks throughout the nursing home and complains that reading the paper hurts her eyes. ( I am beginning to wonder if her vision is failing but that's another blog post...)

So - I found her old watch at home and I'll have it cleaned and the band repaired for her.   I'll give it to her at Christmas so she'll know the time.  I also found a light weight magnifying glass with a light.  I think it will help her read the paper and anything else she can find.   When I found it and realized how much it would help her, I bought 4.  I'll leave the extra three with the social services or activities office so that they can give them to the residents who need them most.  

The other thing I'll give Mom this Christmas is time at home.  We'll arrive in my home town on the 23rd and I'll go to get her the 24th.  We can cook together and then we'll sit down to eat together for Christmas Eve.   I hope she'll feel up to attending church that evening but we'll see.   The next day - we'll do it all again but we'll be at my nephews home. These plans mean a lot of work for us - we have to lift her in and out of the car, to the bathroom and wheel her around but we gladly do it all.    When I think of how she feels living away from home, I WANT to make her happy even though it's only for a few hours at a time.   I want to give her some normalcy - I want her to feel the way it was years ago when she cooked for a houseful of people and we all sat down together to eat and drink  and talk loud.   I miss those times too so if we can re-create them for a day or two, then all the lifting and wheeling is well worth it.