Friday, January 29, 2010

One event changes everything... Mom must move again.

Since yesterday things have changed and I'm not sure it's for the better.  The change means that we must admit Mom's even slower, that she's declining and there's nothing we can do about it.  She's improved since her seizure but is still not 100% and arrangements are in place to move her to a nursing home on Monday morning.   We - the family - did not have to make the call to move her.  Her physician told her he wants more nursing supervision of her care and she can't get it in assisted living.  He insists she move to a nursing home.  She accepted this coming from him; it's doctors orders so she will comply.  It doesn't mean she will understand tomorrow and that she will want to comply next week or any week after.

So now we worry about the physical and the emotional. Mom's dilantin levels were way too low so they must figure out why such a dramatic drop occurred when she's been taking meds regularily.  Physically Mom's better but not 100%; she still has numbness in her left arm and leg.  Some physical therapy will help get her moving again.  We've also got to deal with the details of a move - canceling the phone and paper;  moving her clothes to her nursing home and her furniture and belongings from the apartment to the garage at her home. Luckily, I have a classmate who manages a moving company and he can squeeze it in on Tuesday.  

As for her emotional state, we are concerned and will be concerned for a few weeks until she's settled in.  My niece talked with the doctor about depression and anxiety so he will try some anti-anxiety meds in conjunction with her dilantin.  My brothers, neice and sister-in-law will see her daily while she's hospitalized and once she's moved.  I am making plans for a return visit to check on her and see that she has everything she needs.   I believe an old friend of hers is also at this nursing home so I'll ensure they are connected and can visit back and forth regularily.

While I'm feeling really stressed and have had a headache since the first call, I am feeling really grateful to my family.  They've all stepped up to help Mom; she's been their priority and they've given up sleep, work and school to be with her.   They've been good about communicating with each other and with me.   My brothers - both over 65 - were ready to step in to quickly move mom's stuff from the ALF apartment. I appreciate their willingness to work but want to spare their energies so that they can visit Mom so I called in the movers who can have it done in a couple of hours.  So - together we're helping her; from near and far, we're getting things done.  I may not feel good about what's happening with my Mom but I do feel good that we're all coming together to help and support her.