Monday, April 19, 2010

Another decline - visiting Mom after 2 month abscense

I've been away from my home town and my Mom for two months and  I definitely see a difference in her.  It's not drastic but it is enough to notice.  She is more stooped. Her arms and legs are thinner and weaker; she is unable to stand on her good leg for more than 20 seconds and has more difficulty with memory.  I hate to see this "drastic" decline but I guess I could call it typical for her and her family.  We saw that same thing in my grand mother and her sisters during the last couple years of their lives. 

As much as it pains me to see this I am glad I notice because it helps me prepare for the inevitable.  It leaves me wanting to be more loving, more supportive and to spend more time with her because I can see that her time is short.  How long "short" will be is up to God and to Mom.   Sometimes I feel she's giving up and waiting but then she gets some unexpected visit and it really enlightens her spirit.   During a visit the other day we met other residents.  Turns out she was acquainted with them in some way over the years; it made her feel better.  She also got visits from a couple of male aides that work at her assisted living facility.  They showed up with a cold soda pop and had a chat with her.   She felt so good to be remembered.

I continue to be amazed at Mom though.  She is rarely despondent and rarely says "why me" out loud.   She is concerned about her roomate's welfare and how she feels. She watches her struggle and cry in pain and feels so bad that there is nothing she can do.  I hope I can be as caring when I become as limited as my Mom.