Sunday, March 13, 2011

Mom's condition, financial need and doctor's requirements leave us with no choices

Mom will move back to the nursing home on Monday and I'm sick over it.   This is the same nursing home that failed to fix the brakes on a wheel chair THEY own, the name nursing home that failed to take her increasing pain seriously and tell someone...  and there's nothing we can do about it.

There are several things that limit per options: First, she can't be at home and we can't care for her there without a major remodel and we'd need to hire someone to help with the lifting and washing, which none of us can afford.  She needs medicaid (state aid) to supplement the cost of the nursing home.  Her physician has approved only 2 nursing homes in the city where she lives and one of those won't accept medicaid.   Thus, she must go to the ONE nursing home he'll approve AND that accepts medicaid.

My brother and I aired our concerns to the staff - they nodded as though they understood but none offered explanation or ways to improve things.   My brother and his wife are so concerned that they want to create a schedule to ensure someone from the family visits daily.  They want to divide up the week between themselves, their daughter ( my niece), my 2nd brother and my nephew.  They want me and another niece to split up weekends so that we can visit on a Saturday and Sunday to give them weekends off.  I'm not opposed to this and hope they'll hold up their part of the bargain.   I'm ready to hire someone to visit her 3 times a week; no set schedule, just drop by and report back to me.  I think it's the ONLY way to ensure that Mom's well cared for.  

I don't want mom to return to her room and current room mate.  Mom says she WANTS to return to it but she doesn't realize that it's not necessarily the BEST option.  If she had a different room, she could have a larger TV and a phone that's easier for her to use.  If she had a different room, she'd have some exposure to the outside, some sunshine perhaps.  As it is now the room faces east and a tall thick hedge 3 feet from the building.   Her roommate refuses to go to another wing because in this one she gets free TV and phone.  It's also a "medical rehab" wing, where most of the residents are fine mentally but going through rehab with the intent to return home.  So she's stick again but she'll be back in a familiar place.  That's important on some level too I suppose.  It's not the BEST solution, but it's the only one we can muster for now so we must make the best of it.