Sunday, March 13, 2011

Suggestions from "youngsters" are just so annoying...

Over the past couple of weeks people have tried to be kind but it in the end, I come away completely annoyed and want to smack more than a few faces...   I should be more grateful of their attempts to be supportive but people are just so, well, stupid.  ..And, they don't listen.   Friends, coworkers and even my own family, ask about Mom and what happened to her..  They nod, looking me in the face, as I speak, they seem to understand. Then  they say something like, 'Well, can YOU move to take care of her? Why don't you move her here,  closer to you..."  .I want to scream, ' SHUT UP DUMB ASS!!  Don't you think I've considered it? That I've investigated all the possibilities?  Don't you think I would if I could get some financial help? Do you know how hard it is to find a doctor willing to accept a new patient who's this old and on Medicare?"

Then there are those who think they know about medical care - they recommend ibuprofen, Ben-gay icy packs or hot bathes.  Hot bathes? Ibuprofen?  Come on, it's all I can do to keep from doing a huge eye roll.  Mom is so very far beyond some simple fix like Icy-hot.  Her sacrum is broken!  That's in her lower back!  It's connected to everything! Any movement is excruciating!!

She's on narcotics for crying out loud!  Ibuprofen won't help her now. Nothing that simple will ever help her again.  They act so smug, like it should be so easy and clear cut.   It's not easy and  the solutions aren't simple.   Old people have old bodies and old bodies require special care.  No hot bathes, that means hot water and it could burn their thinning and sensitive skin.   No heat packs, that might also burn.  

This stupidity is due to ignorance; they are uninformed about old people.  They don't know what they're talking about  and they don't wait to listen for an answer or explanation.  This means that they really don't care.   They're just making small talk.  Really, I wish they'd just talk to me about something else  less emotional.   On a much larger scale, I wish people knew more about the elderly.  I wish people realized the limits old people face.  I wish they understood the issues old people face.  I didn't until I began helping elderly uncles and my parents .  I had no idea the complexities of medical coverage, drug interactions or the basics of tending to an aging body.   I wish there was some module in health class in high school that described what parents and grand parents might go through; drug interactions, narcotics and Medicare Part D.  They might have an easier time helping their own parents and would be less self-righteous when others are trying to do the same.