Hell has a special place for those creeps who steal from nursing home residents!!! And, trust me - it will be FULL!!
I already wrote about Mom's brand new go-with-everything pants in brown and navy - but I have two new examples to gripe about. Mom's roomate is a sickly little gal who is getting sicker all the time. She is a dwarf and has suffered from physical problems and constant pain all her life. She has no family and has very few personal possessions so when something goes missing she is especially distressed and hurt. She has no way to go looking for it and no money to replace it. One of her favorite things was a quilt made JUST for her by a friend of her long-dead mother. It was white with embroidered red roses and red bands between the white fields of flowers. She went out of town for a biopsy and it was gone from her bed when she returned. The aides gave her their standard answer, "It must be in the wash.." Any dope would know you don't "wash" a handmade RED quilt!!! Three days later it was still missing and she was quite upset. She cried and cried. I felt so very bad since there was nothing I could do. She has NOTHING! - nothing to her name - just this one thing that made her feel loved and remembered and it's gone. She also told me that she is missing a few dollars but that is all secondary to her quilt.
Another resident - who is on medicaide and receives $40 per month for "personal" needs - told me through tears how her DVDs disappeared while she was away for an appointment. She had saved and gone without things for months and months to buy a few movies to watch on a borrowed DVD player and now it's all gone. Someone had to have known when she was out and gone in to her room to take them. They knew just where to look, only the DVDs were missing, nothing else was disturbed. If I had the money, I'd buy replacements for her AND a locking cabinet for her closet so her things would STAY PUT.
I am flabbergasted that anyone could be so very LOW DOWN and evil that they'd steal from such vulnerable people. Often nursing home residents have nothing; their homes are sold off, furniture given or donated away and friends and pets long gone. Some don't have enough room to hang a photo or put a chair near their bed. To take things from them is the WORST sin possible.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Birthday party is a family affair - THANK GAAWWDD!!!
Mom's 90th birthday party is taking a little more coordination, planning and buying than I expected. But - I salvation - COUSINS!!... and my husband. I'm blessed to have the kind of family who, when invited to anything, immediately asks, "What can I bring?" Instead of asking for things, I asked for their time. Which at this point is much more important to me. I'm also blessed to have the kind of husband who, when told about the party is brilliant enough to show up, shut up and do what he's told!
Dan will help me run around all day Thursday and Friday cleaning house, making food, picking up cakes and flowers. He'll help me place table clothes, decorations and chairs... and I know he won't yell or fuss at me because he knows there's a lot to do - he might give me a little attitude but it's generally all in fun. We've been married long enough now that we sort of compliment each other when we're preparing to have people over or fixing something.
I know getting Mom dressed will take at lest 30 minutes longer than I expect and her hairdresser will be there at 11am to touch up her hair. I asked a cousin to go to the party early and start coffee and make punch before we arrive. She'll also bring a couple of side dishes for a family meal afterward. Other cousins are coming to the party and will help clean up. My sister in law will arrive early to great guests if we're late getting to the church hall.
I've made a schedule of things to do on Thursday and Friday so we can do our errands in "loops" instead of running back and forth from stores to church and stores to the house again. I'm excited for the party but mainly excited to get help from FAMILY. It means so much to know they'll help when needed. They are a blessing and I MUST remember to tell them so!! I hope I'm a blessing in return..
Dan will help me run around all day Thursday and Friday cleaning house, making food, picking up cakes and flowers. He'll help me place table clothes, decorations and chairs... and I know he won't yell or fuss at me because he knows there's a lot to do - he might give me a little attitude but it's generally all in fun. We've been married long enough now that we sort of compliment each other when we're preparing to have people over or fixing something.
I know getting Mom dressed will take at lest 30 minutes longer than I expect and her hairdresser will be there at 11am to touch up her hair. I asked a cousin to go to the party early and start coffee and make punch before we arrive. She'll also bring a couple of side dishes for a family meal afterward. Other cousins are coming to the party and will help clean up. My sister in law will arrive early to great guests if we're late getting to the church hall.
I've made a schedule of things to do on Thursday and Friday so we can do our errands in "loops" instead of running back and forth from stores to church and stores to the house again. I'm excited for the party but mainly excited to get help from FAMILY. It means so much to know they'll help when needed. They are a blessing and I MUST remember to tell them so!! I hope I'm a blessing in return..
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Colon get's the all clear.... whew...
A colonoscopy at 90 is a HUGE deal and Mom had one two weeks ago. It wasn an ordeal for her - "cleansing" liquids all evening after a day of clear liquids and then more "cleansing" at the hospital before the procedure. Long story short - she had 2 benign polyps and everything else looks good.
The original cleansing was awful; the stuff is basically soap or some kind of soapy tasting salt solution. It really goes through the human body fast so she had to "go" within an hour and go again and again. I sat with her in the evening while she drank all the stuff down and ensured that the aides responded quickly to her potty calls. I actually helped get her up and down a couple of times - better that than have a mess and ruin her dignity. When we were sure her colon was good and empty, she went to sleep and I went home for the night. I met her the next morning at the hospital for the in-patient procedure. She drank down more of the nasty goop and sat on the commode some more. She was exhausted and cold. The nurses at the hospital brought warm blankets and we wrapped her up as she sat there. After a couple of hours, she laid down and slept for a while. She was up and down a couple more times before the procedure. The colonoscopy itself took 30-40 minutes then she was in recovery for clean up and dressing. She was starved so I fed her two small servings of custard and called the nursing home to hold some supper for her.
I followed the van back and helped her eat and get into bed. She was fast asleep by 8pm. Given the "cleansing the evening before, it was a long day - 9am to 430pm - but she was a trooper. The aides and nurses were so very kind and helpful. I am sure they'd have been just as professional and caring even if I'd not been there. It was a lot to put mom through - 1 day of little food, 1 day with NO food, hours of diarrhea and a sore behind - but it's better to know if something is wrong. I was worried about dehydration and low blood sugar which can cause a seizure given her epilepsy. They gave her some IV fluids before the procedure and some dilantin to prevent an episode. I don't think they'd have given it much thought without my questioning it ahead of time. I just wanted to prevent a seizure when she was so vulnerable and it worked out fine.
Whew!
Should my elderly mom have a colonoscopy? should my elderly dad have a colonoscopy? am i too old for a colonoscopy? How old is too old for a colonoscopy?
The original cleansing was awful; the stuff is basically soap or some kind of soapy tasting salt solution. It really goes through the human body fast so she had to "go" within an hour and go again and again. I sat with her in the evening while she drank all the stuff down and ensured that the aides responded quickly to her potty calls. I actually helped get her up and down a couple of times - better that than have a mess and ruin her dignity. When we were sure her colon was good and empty, she went to sleep and I went home for the night. I met her the next morning at the hospital for the in-patient procedure. She drank down more of the nasty goop and sat on the commode some more. She was exhausted and cold. The nurses at the hospital brought warm blankets and we wrapped her up as she sat there. After a couple of hours, she laid down and slept for a while. She was up and down a couple more times before the procedure. The colonoscopy itself took 30-40 minutes then she was in recovery for clean up and dressing. She was starved so I fed her two small servings of custard and called the nursing home to hold some supper for her.
I followed the van back and helped her eat and get into bed. She was fast asleep by 8pm. Given the "cleansing the evening before, it was a long day - 9am to 430pm - but she was a trooper. The aides and nurses were so very kind and helpful. I am sure they'd have been just as professional and caring even if I'd not been there. It was a lot to put mom through - 1 day of little food, 1 day with NO food, hours of diarrhea and a sore behind - but it's better to know if something is wrong. I was worried about dehydration and low blood sugar which can cause a seizure given her epilepsy. They gave her some IV fluids before the procedure and some dilantin to prevent an episode. I don't think they'd have given it much thought without my questioning it ahead of time. I just wanted to prevent a seizure when she was so vulnerable and it worked out fine.
Whew!
Should my elderly mom have a colonoscopy? should my elderly dad have a colonoscopy? am i too old for a colonoscopy? How old is too old for a colonoscopy?
Monday, September 6, 2010
Family wedding gives me a guilt sandwich
We attended a beautiful family wedding over the weekend and it left me feeling awful. Mom would have loved to attend but it just was not possible - getting her around in the wheel chair would have been a terrible pain for us all. I feel guilt because I didn't do all i could to take her to most likely the last wedding she'll ever attend. I feel a sense of relief NOT to have taken her so I could relax and enjoy visiting, my own supper and dancing without worrying about her needs and comfort. Then, I feel guilty for feeling a sense of relief! Guilt - relief - guilt... my guilt sandwich...
We would have been able to get her around the venue but it would be difficult, cumbersome and meant lifting her wheelchair up and down stairs. There were also no grab bars in the restroom which mean I'd have to do all the lifting to get her off and on the commode - my back can't take that much any longer. We talked about it weeks in advance and she said she'd go ONLY if it was easy to wheel her to the bathroom. I toured the venue a week in advance and it was, clearly NOT set up for any sort of handicap. She let me off the hook and insisted on staying home.
Even though we had this discussion I feel terrible guilt and I know there is no way I'll feel better. I must accept that and let it go but that's really harder said than done. I speak with so many friends who go through the same thing so I feel better knowing I'm not alone. I have to be content that I take her out for rides, lunch and we'll soon have her 90th birthday party - it will have to be enough.
We would have been able to get her around the venue but it would be difficult, cumbersome and meant lifting her wheelchair up and down stairs. There were also no grab bars in the restroom which mean I'd have to do all the lifting to get her off and on the commode - my back can't take that much any longer. We talked about it weeks in advance and she said she'd go ONLY if it was easy to wheel her to the bathroom. I toured the venue a week in advance and it was, clearly NOT set up for any sort of handicap. She let me off the hook and insisted on staying home.
Even though we had this discussion I feel terrible guilt and I know there is no way I'll feel better. I must accept that and let it go but that's really harder said than done. I speak with so many friends who go through the same thing so I feel better knowing I'm not alone. I have to be content that I take her out for rides, lunch and we'll soon have her 90th birthday party - it will have to be enough.
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